* This post was featured on The Daily Love

Many people think one little tiny thought really doesn’t make that much of a difference. Guess what?? It does!

You decide how you think and what becomes a can or can’t. According to research, our brains can produce upwards of 50,000 thoughts a day. Ninety-nine percent of these thoughts are repeated daily. Your thoughts become your beliefs, which, in turn, become your mindset. Depending on what you believe is possible, you will or won’t take certain actions, which then lead to specific results (e.g., if you think you have no future as a writer, good chance you won’t enroll in a writing class, start a blog or write a book).

Here’s how a belief impacts your results:

Thoughts -> Beliefs -> Mindset -> Actions -> Results

SO for those of you who want different results, you’ll have to start to be more aware of how your thoughts and beliefs impact your choices and actions.

When you have a positive belief, a belief that helps you move toward your potential, versus a limiting belief, a belief that moves you away from your potential, you alter the direction of your life. Sometimes it’s a small curve and other times it’s a major rerouting. Please know that we all have limiting beliefs. You are not alone on this one. The only difference is some people are better at identifying them and re-wording them.

Your individual beliefs are similar to chapters in a book. When you put them all together, you have the belief system that becomes your story. The more you repeat your story, the more you believe it. The more you believe it, the more you become it (e.g., I’m not the type to start a business). Therefore, one seemingly insignificant belief repeated over and over can be the catalyst for all you create in your life or don’t.

Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs:

Relationships

- The only way I can be happy is if I’m in a relationship

- Relationships are not my thing

- I’m not worthy of having a partner

- I don’t like being vulnerable

- It makes me uncomfortable to ask for something

Healthy Living/Well-being

- I can’t workout in the morning

- I’m not that good at staying on track

- Working out is too hard for me

- I’ll never be able to get in shape given all of my commitments

Business/Career

- I will be successful if I make over a certain amount of money or fill in the blank _______

-  I will be happy when I change jobs

- I’m not good at marketing (I’ve said this one)

- It’s hard to find a job with a boss who is a good manager

- I’m not the creative one

- Being a manager is not for me

The list goes on and on for all of us. What’s interesting is we have different beliefs in different areas of our life, meaning we can have a positive belief in our career (e.g., give me any problem and I can figure out a solution) and then a completely limiting belief about our relationships (e.g., I’m not good with relationships. But you just said in your career that you can figure out solutions).

5 Steps to Shift a Limiting Belief:

1. Take five minutes and write down at least three limiting beliefs you may have in any area of you life (career, relationships, finance and health).

2. Does the belief add or detract from achieving your goals, exploring your potential and enhancing the quality of your life? Please be honest.

3. Does the belief support/align with your core values? (So if health and family are core values, does your belief that working out is too hard for you honor your values?)

4. Fast forward three years and ask if you keep honoring this belief what will it cost you? For example, how will your belief that you’re not good at marketing impact your business longer term?

5. Then rewrite the belief as one that brings you toward your potential.

For example: Marketing is a key component to growing my business and I will find the right people to help me be successful in this area. I’ve overcome other challenges and I can do this as well. *

* Now, of course, you need to take small steps each week to make this happen and keep yourself accountable

Based on our beliefs, we take certain actions. If you don’t think you’re a good public speaker you probably will not apply for your dream job if it involves any speaking requirements – and that would be a shame because we can all improve. You can definitely learn to be a better speaker with effort and practice. Limiting beliefs actually help us get better when we have the courage to face them and change our perspective.

We’d love to hear your success stories of re-wording your beliefs so they empower you, help you believe in yourself and fuel positive actions.

Believe in yourself,

Alissa

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is a Business/Life Coach, speaker and author of Living in Your Top 1%. She coaches entrepreneurs, executives, aspiring leaders, athletes, career changers, and moms getting back in the workforce. Alissa works one-on-one with clients and gives corporate workshops and classes via the phone throughout the year. To learn more and connect with Alissa, please visit her website and Facebook page.

I want it and I want it now. That’s basically how our society is growing up. What happened to working for things and waiting for the Heinz ketchup to slowly ooooze from the bottle and smother onto your French fries? As a consumer nation, we are conditioned for instant gratification and that unrealistic mindset carries over to other areas of our life. Just because we can get the latest iPhone today doesn’t mean we can build a business this second or become a better tennis player right now. Buying something is much different than working for something.

Our society is fast becoming the land of “Instant Gratification,” where five minutes is too long. We need to get in touch with people this second. Every company is trying to figure out: how can we do something faster? It’s great when my computer is fast, I like that, but an instant gratification mindset shifts our focus away from effort and resilience to right now (and I’m not talking about being in the present moment). I have yet to meet someone who built a business or lost weight overnight. There’s something empowering when you invest the time, overcome challenges and reach an outcome that makes you feel good. We grow in that process and increase our belief in ourself.

Here are a few “instant gratification” expectation examples:

- Start a new job and get promoted right away.

- Become an entrepreneur and sell the company for a profit in less than a year.

- Master a new skill such as tennis or golf in one summer – good luck! (I’ve played for 40 years and competed in college and on the professional tour and I’m still learning).

- Exercise and see massive results in a week.

- Start a Facebook /Twitter page or new blog and a have a huge following in a month.

- Decide to eat “healthy” for a few days and see the number on the scale be lower by five pounds (or else we think might as well eat the cookies if it makes no difference).

I completely understand that it can be discouraging when you write consistently for a month and you only have three pages written for your first book, workout like a crazy person for a week and don’t see any change on the scale or visit twenty clients and only make one sale. If Thomas Edison had quit after 9,999 attempts we might not have electricity. I’m just saying it takes time and there is no specific answer for exactly how much time it takes. When you are focused on progress and getting better rather than instant gratification or reaching perfection it’s easier to stay the course.

Is it too late to teach people to work for something?

You don’t learn to walk overnight…

You don’t learn to read overnight…

You don’t learn to spell overnight…

You don’t learn to ride a bike overnight…

….but we expect to build a business or become a master quickly!

If we gave up after one week of trying to walk or spell, the results would not be encouraging. Our natural state is to want to improve and get better. Society and the media often shift our perspective regarding the time frame and effort it takes for a meaningful accomplishment.

So just for the record:

- It takes time to get to know someone and build a beautiful relationship

- It takes time to lose weight and keep it off (ie, months and years)

- It takes time to build a business

- It takes time to write a book (took me about 12 months)

- It takes time to become a master and gain experience in any area of your life

When you understand that any process takes time, you’re not discouraged and tempted to quit at the first glimpse of a challenge. An instant gratification mindset, or the mentality that success is an overnight process and putting in time and effort is not an essential part of the process, is prominent in our society. Our work is to re-shift our mindset to have a more realistic perspective.

How can you shift your perspective to pursue what’s most important to you and stay with it?

Believe in yourself,

Alissa

Alissa’s Bio

Alissa Finerman is a Business/Life Coach, speaker and author of Living in Your Top 1%. She coaches entrepreneurs, executives, aspiring leaders, athletes, career changers, and moms getting back in the workforce. Alissa works one-on-one with clients and gives corporate workshops and classes via the phone throughout the year. To learn more and connect with Alissa, please visit her website and Facebook page.

Editor’s Note: This post appeared on The Daily Love.

“One of the main weaknesses of mankind is the average person’s familiarity with the word ‘impossible.’ He knows all the rules that will not work. He knows all the things that cannot be done.”
~ NAPOLEON HILL

I was in NYC with my mom this past weekend and had a short conversation with a woman while we were on the bus. She was about 55 years old, used a cane, and was at least 75 pounds overweight. As a result of being hit by a drunk driver several years ago, she told us, “she was limited physically.” I listened to her story and understood her challenges. However, a different story flashed in my mind of Anthony Robles, who won the 2011 NCAA Wrestling Championships in the 125-pound weight division. He also was limited physically because he was born with one leg but still managed to become a champion athlete and one of the most accomplished wrestlers in Arizona State history. Two people with limiting factors in their life, yet two very different outcomes.

We all have a story. Many of us believe our story defines us, but what really defines us is how we interpret the story or facts and choose to move forward.

According to the National Science Foundation, our brains produce as many as 50,000 thoughts per day. Ninety-five percent of these thoughts are repeated daily.

Your thoughts become your beliefs, which, in turn, become your mindset. Your mindset governs your actions, which lead to your results. In short, if you have a mindset that limits your potential, then you will likely accept limited results in your life.

Be honest, do you have a mindset that limits what’s possible in your life or one that encourages you to see potential and possibility and move past obstacles? Are you more familiar with the words can’t, unattainable and impossible or do you naturally see solutions and challenge the status quo?

One of the most effective ways to change your mindset is to be honest with yourself and consider the following question:

“What is your current mindset costing you?”

Are you staying in a corporate job you dislike because you have convinced yourself you are not qualified to do anything else or start your own business? This could be preventing you from feeling excited about your day, finding your passion and making a valuable contribution to the world.

Are you staying in an unfulfilling relationship because you have convinced yourself you can’t meet anyone else or don’t deserve better? This could be preventing you from meeting a loving life partner who respects you and wants to build a great life together.

Are you applying to college or graduate school programs but not challenging yourself to reach for the best school (for you) because you’ve convinced yourself you’re not smart enough to get into a better school? This could cost you job opportunities, earnings growth and a valuable network further down the road.

Sometimes it’s hard to quantify the costs of having a limiting mindset but they are real and show up in every facet of your life on a physical, emotional, mental, financial and spiritual level. Is your mindset costing you happiness, good health, time, love, money, laughter, opportunities or peace of mind?

Take a moment and move through the key areas of your life — Career, Relationships, Finances, Fun & Creativity and Healthy Living — to consider if your mindset is holding you back from reaching your greatest potential. This exercise is fun to do with a friend as well.

Remember, you decide how you think and what becomes a can or can’t. Start asking yourself what’s possible and what you really want to accomplish.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Our thoughts are powerful because they create the mindset that we live by. In moving forward, sometimes you need to take a moment to reflect if you have all the internal resources necessary to be your best – mindset is one of them. It’s time to be aware what your current mindset is costing you.

“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret to success.”
~ NORMAN VINCENT PEALE

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Alissa is a Professional Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of “Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals” available on Amazon.com. She works with individuals and organizations to help them think bigger, redefine what’s possible, and get results. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. To learn more about coaching with Alissa and to take the Living in Your Top 1% quiz, please visit www.AlissaFinerman.com or www.facebook.com/alissafinermantop1.

Editor’s Note: This post appeared on Positively Positive.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are usually right.” — Henry Ford

A few years ago I read a book, The Inner Game of Tennis, to help me control the constant stream of thoughts running through my head on the tennis court. I had played competitive tennis at the University of California, Berkeley, and on the Professional Tennis Tour for several years. To perform in the zone and reach your greatest potential, you need to quiet your mind. I realized my ability to concentrate on any given task was completely dependent on my success in minimizing the interference on and off the tennis court. This idea applies to everyone who is focused on sharing his or her greatest potential with the world whether you are an entrepreneur, photographer, college student, parent, musician, or CEO. It’s something I continue to work on and have improved with practice and awareness over the years.

I learned many formulas over the years (and forgot most of them) but am thankful for the following simple equation that has positively impacted my life:

Performance = Potential – Interference

Let me explain: the results we enjoy (aka our performance) on any given day are equal to what we are capable of achieving (aka our potential) less our ability to eliminate distractions (aka interference). So whether you are preparing for an important presentation, changing careers, or planning you next fabulous vacation, the results you enjoy depend on your ability to reduce unwanted noise, both in your mind and your life.

Here are three steps to reduce the interference or noise factor:
1. AWARENESS OF YOUR THOUGHTS

The first step in quieting the mind is to start hearing the words you use throughout the day. The focus in this phase is to listen and thoroughly assess the melody in your head. Do you prefer to tell yourself, “your life is a mess” or “you are talented and creative”?

Recently, I gave a talk at the LA Business Journal lunch to honor Women Making a Difference. There were over 500 people at the event and I had a lot of ideas racing through my head. Before I approached the stage for my talk, I gave myself five minutes of quiet time to regain my focus and purpose for the talk. Whenever you do something that’s important to you, crazy thoughts come into your mind – will the audience resonate with your message, what will people think of your outfit, will you remember your speech? These thoughts come in and out of your mind but you have to make an effort not to give credibility to any of these thoughts. I take a few deep breaths and picture the ideal outcome for the talk and when I see that clear picture, I know I am ready. This is a process that takes time.

Gradually with practice, the random thoughts are reduced and you are left with a quiet mind to guide you forward.

2. PRACTICE CONDITIONING YOUR MIND

Many of us want results without putting in the effort. People want to lose weight without working out or get promoted without working the extra hours. So if you want to improve as a cook, you can take cooking classes, read a cookbook, and practice cooking new dishes. If you want to improve as a speaker, you can listen to ten TED.com talks a day to develop your style. If you want to have a stronger serve on the tennis court, you can go out and serve five buckets of balls everyday. The more you practice, the better the results you will enjoy. This concept of practice applies to how we condition our mind as well. If you want to have a positive and powerful mindset you must practice the thoughts you want to rule your life.

Here are several tips clients find useful: identify negative thought patterns, avoid giving more weight to negative thoughts, and stop a negative conversation rather than let it go on and on. My favorite way to quiet my mind is to hike in the Santa Monica Mountains and be surrounded by nature and the feeling of total expansiveness and potential.

The process of conditioning our mind for success is no different than achieving other results – it just feels less tangible.

3. PRIORITIZE WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU

Your role as the CEO of YOU INC. is to prioritize your day and decide what gets added to your schedule. If you want to condition your mind then make it a ritual in your day to regularly assess your words and substitute empowering thoughts for those that are filled with self-doubt.

We all have busy schedules and could use an extra hour in the day. It’s an a-ha moment for many of my clients to realize that they have the opportunity to make the most of these hours just like every other successful person who redefines what’s possible and remove the “im” from impossible. If you sleep until 10am vs. 8am. vs 6am, it’s a choice. If you invest in yourself for one hour and exercise that’s a choice too. We find a way to do anything when it is both important and a priority in our life.

Developing our best mindset needs to be at the top of the list!

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Life is a series of choices. You make the choice to allow positive thoughts to rule your mind and to give negative thoughts no additional weight. What becomes a can or can’t is highly dependent on the words you use and reinforce in your mind. The practice of quieting your mind and eliminating negative or destructive thoughts is a process that can be learned. The sooner you start the process, the sooner you will become a master. It starts with greater awareness and the desire to improve.
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About Alissa:
Alissa is a Professional Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of “Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals” available on Amazon.com. She works with individuals and organizations to help them think bigger, redefine what’s possible, and get results. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. To learn more and to take the Living in Your Top 1% quiz, please visit Alissa’s website or her Facebook Page.

Since we are in the driver’s seat for our own life, we can choose to live with whatever mindset that serves us best. So why not choose to live with a what if everything worked out just right mindset. This is what it would look like…

* What if…you felt great every day when you woke up, no need to hit the snooze button, just jump in to another great day
* What if…you were excited to start your day
* What if…you totally and completely believed in yourself
* What if…you were 100% in the present moment
* What if…you were thankful everyday for all that you have and all the great moments to come
* What if…you turned your creative ideas into action
* What if…you rolled with the ups and down and stayed on course through it all
* What if…you approached challenging situations with an “I can” mindset
* What if…you left the stress behind and took one day at a time
* What if…you told yourself how awesome you are

The amazing thing is that you can live with this mindset because you make the decisions, not someone else. It’s start with a choice and ends with an action.

I’d love for you to share other “What ifs” that are important to you.

Believe in yourself and your What Ifs will be your reality.
Love,
Alissa

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Alissa Finerman is a Professional Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of “Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals” available on Amazon.com. She works with individuals and organizations to help them think bigger, redefine what’s possible, and get results. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. To learn more about coaching with Alissa and to take the Living in Your Top 1% quiz, please visit www.AlissaFinerman.com or www.facebook.com/alissafinermantop1.

Editor’s Note: This post originally appeared on Virgin.com.

“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.” ~ Wayne Dyer

This week started off on a good note for one client. She received a job offer to help run a growing online business. In a different scenario a client had a bad week. She went on an interview and was not invited back. Finding a job can be very stressful but there’s more to a good or bad week than a single event such as a job offer or interview. Most events are neutral until we categorize them and react. You will have many ups and downs on your path to success, so it’s critical to keep your perspective when interpreting events.

Although we cannot control an event, we can control how we interpret it. Which reaction do you favor in the examples below?

SCENARIO 1:
EVENT: You are laid off from a job you didn’t enjoy and need to find a new job.
REACTION: Is this the worst situation or an opportunity to do something you enjoy?

SCENARIO 2:
EVENT: You start a business and need to raise money but the first ten investors reject your idea.
REACTION: Does this mean you will never be successful or will you continue to search for investors who believe in your idea?

SCENARIO 3:
EVENT: You break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend of three years.
REACTION: Is this the end of your life or an opportunity to meet someone you love and connect with?

It’s your choice whether you favor being more dramatic, neutral, or hopeful when you interpret events even in the face of adversity. You are given the choice each time you come to a crossroads in your mind to give a single event a specific slant.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Events are not positive or negative. They became that way once we categorize them. Losing a job for one person can be a relief and lead to a positive path while the same event for another person can lead them into a downward spiral. The Dalai Lama considers it a practice how we cultivate our mind. It’s not always easy but you do have a choice how you interpret events.

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Alissa Finerman is a Professional Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of “Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals” available on Amazon.com. She works with individuals and organizations to help them think bigger, redefine what’s possible, and get results. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. To learn more about coaching with Alissa and to take the Living in Your Top 1% quiz, please visit www.AlissaFinerman.com or www.facebook.com/alissafinermantop1.