Alissa Finerman

Los Angeles Executive Coach and Gallup Certified StrengthsFinder Coach, Speaker and Author

Celebrate Your Wins

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* This blog was featured on Positively Positive.

Often, when people look back on their year, they are tempted to think about all the things that went wrong. The relationships that didn’t work out, the projects that didn’t happen, the clients you didn’t get, the trips you didn’t take, and the weight you didn’t lose. While this method is tempting only because we’ve done it before, I’d like to suggest a new approach—CELEBRATE YOUR WINS. Yes, focus on what went well!

I encourage you to think of at least three “wins” that made you feel good about yourself and what you accomplished this year and why each one is important (this is also helpful to do with your family, kids, partner, best friend, or team at work). Wins are about moving to your next level, feeling fulfilled, and showing yourself you CAN do it. Wins do not have to be about finishing first, making more money, or being better than someone else. Wins give you confidence, hope, and energy.

A win shifts the lens you use to view the world from im-possible to possible.

Sometimes, wins are small, such as going to sleep before midnight, or bigger, such as changing jobs. And what may be small to one person may be big for another. We each have different needs and values so there’s no need to judge. One client successfully scheduled a yoga retreat for the new year that will help her expand her business. One of my wins was recording my first audio book for Living in YOUR Top 1%. The audio is one more data point that I CAN move outside my comfort zone and figure out how to do something with limited prior knowledge. Understanding the “why” is important because the next time you tell yourself, “I can’t do that” or “I don’t know how,” that excuse is no longer valid because your win proves otherwise.

If you are absolutely convinced that nothing went well this year (and I respectfully challenge you), then take a pause and ask yourself what you learned from the experience or what you can do differently next time. Perhaps you were in a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling, but hopefully you gained clarity on your non-negotiables and what’s important to you in a partner. Do yourself a favor and pay attention to these lessons.

Identifying a win helps you see the greater possibilities for your life. You will realize if you have “wins” in one area such as your career, you can have “wins” in other areas such as healthy living or finances. You’ll notice that the areas where you experience wins are often because you make them a priority and invest your time. Think about the process you used to enjoy a win (i.e. did you research options, overcome obstacles, ask for something, have a mentor, etc.) and then condition yourself to use these same rituals in other areas of your life.

As we move into the New Year, use your wins to lead you into an upward spiral to remind yourself of what’s possible.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Ask For What You Need

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Here’s a novel idea….

ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED!

Sounds like a simple enough idea to ask. When kids are hungry they ask for food. When kids are thirsty they ask for something to drink. Somewhere between being a kid and becoming an adult, we forget that we have the ability to ask for what we want. And just to clarify, I’m not encouraging you to be greedy and ask for unnecessary things, I’m encouraging you to think about what’s important to you and why and then go for it.

We can ask for what we want in all areas of our life. We can ask in our career, relationships, and financially. By asking with compassion for what we want we increase the likelihood to live our truth. You may need time for yourself, sleep, honesty in a relationship, respect, more or less responsibility at work, or a day off to highlight a few themes. And sometimes what you need, such as space in a relationship, may not be what the other person wants and that’s ok. It’s important to honor yourself and your needs.

Perhaps you don’t know what you want.
Perhaps you are scared to ask.
Perhaps you wouldn’t know what to do if you actually got what you asked for.

Amazing things happen when you ask. One client, who was seriously considering leaving her job, was able to put a four-day work week into place by masterfully conveying to her boss why this would be good for her, the company, and her team. Her boss agreed and my client now works a four-day work week and enjoys her job again. Prior to this shift, my client was frustrated with her job and not happy in her role.

Now, here’s the tricky part…just because you know what you want, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. Once you figure out a four-day work week is appealing (and I’m sure everyone loves this one), you need to think about why this makes sense for your employer, what type of conversation you need to have with your manager, how will it impact people on your team, and what rituals need to shift in your daily work schedule to make this possible. Often, you may find yourself making excuses for why something is not possible (as my client did when I introduced the idea). As you learn to stop this conversation in your head and re-train yourself to focus on what you want and why it needs to happen, you will cross the line from im-possible to possible. And if it doesn’t happen this month, that’s ok. Keep rolling forward because it could happen the next month.

I know one thing for sure — it’s ok to ask for what you want. And if you don’t ask, I can guarantee one thing — nothing will change. The next time you’re not sure what to do:

ASK with compassion
ASK with clarity
ASK with confidence

Top 1% Bottom Line: Sometimes an idea sounds entirely unrealistic until you ASK. This process of shifting your mindset to what’s possible opens up new possibilities in all areas of your life.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Day 31

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* Editor’s Note: This post was featured on Positively Positive.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” – Anthony Robbins

Have you ever committed to doing something for 30 days and then reverted back to your old habits? I know I have and I’m guessing many others have too!

My challenge to you is to decide what actions you are willing to weave into your life on Day 31 and after to pursue goals that are meaningful. This is when the magic happens. The changes don’t have to be drastic just consistent.

Short-term changes get you in the game. Long-term shifts elevate the playing field. You have to decide where you want to play.

This idea of making a change came up during a recent coaching conversation with a client. He shared that he wanted to get back into shape and planned to work out everyday for 30 days and hire a trainer with the hope of losing ten pounds (you can substitute working out for anything you want to shift in your life).

It always starts with an intention — and I like this one as getting in shape aligned with the client’s value of healthy living. Your intentions and actions are much more powerful when they align with your values.

The question is what happens on Day 31 and 32 and 33 and so on? Do I think someone can workout everyday for 30 days or achieve any other short-term target – YES! Does the research suggest that the majority of people resume their old patterns once they hit an interim target – YES! The challenge is maintaining the results you want after the initial 30 days or initial time frame is over. Then what happens when the trainer is gone?

My client and I focused on why he wanted to lose the weight, how that would make him feel and what having more energy would allow him to do in his life (ie, play with his kids on the weekend and be involved in their lives). The point is my client wasn’t committing to working out just for 30 days but rather committing to a way of life and taking care of himself. That’s a very different intention. He used the 30-day period to jumpstart the project and realized that working out everyday wasn’t a viable strategy given his heavy travel schedule. Since he was only currently working out 1-2 days sporadically, he revised the goal to work out at least 3 days a week (anything more was a bonus and helped to build his confidence). This small shift helped him look forward to working out rather than seeing it as a chore and stressful. Once he successfully completed the month of 3 workouts per week (and lost 5 pounds) he built confidence, had more energy, and believed that he could keep going. Sometimes you have to revise your goal to stay on track.

Being your best self is a lifestyle issue (aka Living in YOUR Top 1%) rather than a one off fad. For example, if you practice a specific religion or being a vegetarian, that’s how you live everyday as opposed to just the days it’s convenient. The challenge for all of us who want real change becomes creating a sustainable set of rituals that we are willing to honor and put into practice consistently.

Top 1% Bottom Line: It’s matter what you do consistently rather than what you do once in a while. Day 31 defines where we go.

Please share what’s important to you and what practices you will put into action on Day 31+ to make a postive impact in your life and others?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Are You Ready To Be An Entrepreneur?

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*This post was shared on The Change Blog

In 2007, I left my finance job as a VP and opted for an entrepreneurial career as a Business/Life Coach, Speaker, and author. This meant saying goodbye to a good salary, bi-monthly pay checks, a life in New York City and living 15 minutes away from my mom and brother. I moved to California in 2009, wrote a book, Living in YOUR Top 1%, and this past week spoke to over 400 people at three different companies ranging from real estate to a Fortune 500 company in healthcare to an investment company. I never regret my decision because I wake up the majority of mornings being excited about my work and the opportunity to make a difference.

As an entrepreneur and the CEO of my own business (like every entrepreneur), I am in charge and directly responsible for developing new coaching programs, marketing, business development, giving talks to various companies and every other area. Some days are great and other moments are frustrating but I know this is my path.

Here’s what I’ve learned along the way both from my experiences and coaching other entrepreneurs and companies to help them excel. I hope these are helpful and feel free to share your takeaways so we can all improve:

1. Belief

We all have moments when we doubt ourself. But entrepreneurs are hopeful and optimistic and therefore understand that these moments are temporary rather than permanent. You will need a top 1% team but at the end of the day, every entrepreneur needs to be his/her own biggest fan. At first, others may laugh at your idea until it becomes the standard and a way of life. People laughed at Ted Turner when he started CNN –- it’s now the standard to have news 24 hours/7 days a week.

Do you have the determination and belief in yourself to succeed even on the most challenging days?

2. Resilience

Setbacks or dips are part of the process. The best and most consistent companies have products that are flops (ie, think about how many drinks Starbucks has tried and discontinued). There’s nothing surprising about having a product that doesn’t do well, being rejected, experiencing a setback, or having a client tell you “NO.” That’s all part of the process and is par for the course. The true entrepreneurs look beyond these temporary setbacks and realize that each dip is an opportunity to grow. The good days are easy but you will be measured on how you deal with the difficult days.

What rituals do you need to practice to manage the most challenging parts of your business?

3. Vision

True entrepreneurs have a vision others don’t see – whether it’s for yourself or the company. Regardless of the industry, you must have a craziness about you and the ability to expand the world’s view of what’s possible. We have visionaries in every industry Oprah creating her own network, OWN, with uplifting programming (which is still in the early phases) to Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook, changing the way people communicate globally.

What’s your vision you want to share with the world?

4. It’s A Process

Success is a process and, by definition, a process has different phases. The media showcases people who are selling their business for lots of money so it’s tempting to think that success is overnight. But in the headline they never mention that these same people worked for upwards of 5-10+ years to make it happen and worked many late nights. That part of the story is rarely the focus. So if you just read the headlines you will believe a very different story.

The path to mastery is through practice. Too many people I meet and speak with want success overnight. They expect results without putting in the time and effort and then get disappointed when things take a while. Just like losing 20 pounds takes time and happens one pound at a time, building a successful business happens over time by writing one more blog, making one more presentation, coming up with one new advertising idea and getting one more client. And yes, after putting in the time and effort consistently over time, success will be overnight (over many late nights)!

What does success mean to you?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

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“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. ” – Henry David Thoreau

In memory of Dr. Stephen Covey and all that he did to help millions of people live their best life, I wanted to share the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and a quote on each concept. It’s also essential to understand how he defines a habit (which I call a ritual): “the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.” He was recognized as one of Time magazine’s 25 most influential Americans.

Dr. Covey’s ideas are just as powerful today as when he shared them in his book. Great ideas always stand the test of time. Here are his seven habits:

1. Be Proactive (Principles of Personal Vision)
“Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase.”

2. Begin with the End in Mind (Principles of Personal Leadership)
“Begin with the end in mind is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.”

3. Put First Things First (Principles of Personal Management)
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”

4. Think Win/Win (Principles of Interpersonal Leadership)
“Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan…Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.”

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (Principles of Empathic Communication)
“Seeking to understand requires consideration; seeking to be understood takes courage. Win/Win requires a high degree of both.”

6. Synergize (Principles of Creative Cooperation)
“When you communicate synergistically, you are simply opening your mind and heart and expressions to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options…You begin with the belief that parties involved will gain more insight, and that the excitement of that mutual learning and insight will create a momentum toward more and more insights, learnings, and growth.”

7. Sharpen the Saw (Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal)
“It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have — you…The self-renewal process must include balanced renewal in all four dimensions of our nature: the physical, the spiritual, the mental, and the social/emotional.”

Top 1% Bottom Line: It’s not what we know but rather what we practice that makes a difference. Practicing even one of these principles will positively impact your life.

Which habit has had the greatest impact on your life?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook