truth

There has been much discussion about success. What it means? Do you have it? What does it take to get it? I’ve changed my view of success from one about titles, money and what you do (I used to work on Wall Street) to one filled with servicing others, making a difference, feeling fulfilled in my work, living where I love (California), sharing my talents, and reducing shoulds in my life (yes, I left my finance career and became an Executive Coach).

Success is dynamic so how you define success when you’re 20 vs 40 vs 60 years old and over will continuously shift. My definition of success continues to evolve with each experience. The important factor is how YOU define success and how you practice this in your life. Success is personal.

Here are a few thoughts about success from my book, Living In Your Top 1%, to stir your thinking and help you live a successful life.

There is success from any starting point

There is success in honoring your truth

There is success beyond failure and mistakes

There is success beyond challenging times

There is success when you put what you know into practice

There is success when you make yourself a priority and take responsibility

There is success when you believe in possibilities

There is success when you clear out the noise and pave the way to use your strengths

There is success when you set value based goals that speak to your heart

There is success when you start with your ideal scenario and dismiss all the reasons why you can’t

There is success in moving out of your comfort zone into your stretch zone

There is success in rising up after you’ve veered off course

There is success when you make consistent choices that align with your truth

There is success when you stay committed to goals that speak to your heart

There is success when you live by your non-negotiables

There is success when you keep things in perspective, view them as temporary and have the ability to see the bigger picture

There is not success in living a life with shoulds

There is not success in building a mindset that starts with I can’t

There is not success in believing impossible to possible only happens to others

Success is a mindset that helps you uncover your potential when you’re ready

Success is available to all

Success is a way of life

Success for me is making a positive impact in the world.

What does success mean to you?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena and Bristol-Myers Squibb. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

* This post was featured on The Daily Love

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”
– Henry David Thoreau

I gave up the should game in 2007. That’s when I quit my finance job in NYC and promised myself I would lose the shoulds and focus on the life I wanted rather than what others thought I should be doing. Since that decision I moved to Santa Monica, CA (aka paradise for me) and changed my career to do what I love. It wasn’t always easy but the path is definitely easier when you are living from a place of authenticity and truth. Please note, this doesn’t mean everything is perfect — living your truth simply means you are giving yourself the opportunity for personal success.

I let go of the shoulds when I was honest with myself and realized that everybody else’s shoulds weren’t making me happy. It takes courage and strength to listen and honor your inner truth. The mindset shift starts when you become aware that you have choices and these choices impact your life differently. It’s a process, not magic. Regardless of your situation, living your truth and dropping the shoulds is always an option.

Let’s be honest, we all deal with shoulds in our life. They can be big or small….

I should workout regularly.

I should write for two hours every day.

I should drink less.

I should take “that” job because it’s a good company.

I should go to “that” event.

I should get married.

I should have kids.

I should be more social.

I should volunteer.

I should spend more time with my family.

I should go to bed earlier.

I should eat healthier.

Sound familiar? If your answer is yes, you’re not alone. There are lots of things we should do. Should moments do not come from the heart, but rather from external pressures and opinions of others. Having a should moment is nothing special. The shift happens when you become aware of a should in your life and then change how you respond.

The next time you have a should moment, ask yourself these six questions to decide your next steps:

1. Does the “should” align with your values, your heart, and what you want or someone else?

2. Why is the “should” important?

3. Are you willing to make the “should” a priority in your life?

4. What will happen if you dump this “should?”

5. Is this “should” helping you or preventing you from moving forward in your life?

6. Does the “should” make you happy?

How you respond and the actions you take are your choice.

Top 1% Bottom Line: My best advice: honor yourself and shift your perspective from focusing on what you should do to focusing on what YOU want to do from your heart. Use your internal compass rather than society’s external one. To live you best life, you have to choose to honor your dreams rather than your shoulds.

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About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

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