* This blog was featured on Positively Positive.
Often, when people look back on their year, they are tempted to think about all the things that went wrong. The relationships that didn’t work out, the projects that didn’t happen, the clients you didn’t get, the trips you didn’t take, and the weight you didn’t lose. While this method is tempting only because we’ve done it before, I’d like to suggest a new approach—CELEBRATE YOUR WINS. Yes, focus on what went well!
I encourage you to think of at least three “wins” that made you feel good about yourself and what you accomplished this year and why each one is important (this is also helpful to do with your family, kids, partner, best friend, or team at work). Wins are about moving to your next level, feeling fulfilled, and showing yourself you CAN do it. Wins do not have to be about finishing first, making more money, or being better than someone else. Wins give you confidence, hope, and energy.
A win shifts the lens you use to view the world from im-possible to possible.
Sometimes, wins are small, such as going to sleep before midnight, or bigger, such as changing jobs. And what may be small to one person may be big for another. We each have different needs and values so there’s no need to judge. One client successfully scheduled a yoga retreat for the new year that will help her expand her business. One of my wins was recording my first audio book for Living in YOUR Top 1%. The audio is one more data point that I CAN move outside my comfort zone and figure out how to do something with limited prior knowledge. Understanding the “why” is important because the next time you tell yourself, “I can’t do that” or “I don’t know how,” that excuse is no longer valid because your win proves otherwise.
If you are absolutely convinced that nothing went well this year (and I respectfully challenge you), then take a pause and ask yourself what you learned from the experience or what you can do differently next time. Perhaps you were in a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling, but hopefully you gained clarity on your non-negotiables and what’s important to you in a partner. Do yourself a favor and pay attention to these lessons.
Identifying a win helps you see the greater possibilities for your life. You will realize if you have “wins” in one area such as your career, you can have “wins” in other areas such as healthy living or finances. You’ll notice that the areas where you experience wins are often because you make them a priority and invest your time. Think about the process you used to enjoy a win (i.e. did you research options, overcome obstacles, ask for something, have a mentor, etc.) and then condition yourself to use these same rituals in other areas of your life.
As we move into the New Year, use your wins to lead you into an upward spiral to remind yourself of what’s possible.
Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook