• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Alissa Finerman

Los Angeles Executive Coach, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Facilitator and Author

  • About
    • Testimonials
  • Seminars
    • Employee Engagement
  • Strengths Coaching
    • About Coaching
    • Speaking
  • Living in Your Top 1%
    • Book
    • Top 1% Tips
    • Resources
  • Blog
  • Contact
    • Media

The Impact of Limiting Beliefs

November 20, 2019 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

  • Posted on Wharton Magazine blog

“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.”—Tony Robbins

According to the National Science Foundation, our brains can produce as many as 50,000 thoughts per day. Ninety-five percent of these thoughts are repeated daily. You decide how you think and what becomes a can or can’t. Your thoughts become your beliefs which, in turn, become your mindset. Your mindset fuels your actions, which create your reality.

We all have limiting beliefs that stop us from achieving our dreams or our everyday goals. These beliefs often develop as our mind’s way of supposedly saving us from difficult situations, challenges or failures. Limiting beliefs inhibit our progress.

Managers and leaders in every level of their career have limiting beliefs. Although this is common and normal, we need to be mindful of the words we use and the beliefs we accept as truth. The following chain reaction illustrates the effect that your thoughts can have on your life: Words >> Thoughts >> Beliefs >> Mindset >> Actions >> Results.

Some examples of a limiting belief might be:

  • For a job seeker: I’m terrible at interviewing. After one or two interviews that don’t go as well as you had wanted, it’s not rational to conclude that you can’t interview. Reframe and focus on where you can improve. Consider preparing two to three stories that share your strengths and how you best contribute.
  • For an emerging leader: Because I am so young and managing others twice my age, people on my team don’t respect me. Age doesn’t equate to respect. Reframe and realize that you can earn someone’s trust and respect regardless of age. Focus on the steps you can take to build respect rather than what you don’t have.
  • For a manager: I’m not good at managing people and having the tough conversations. Having one tough conversation with a challenging team member that didn’t go well doesn’t mean you don’t have good management skills. Reframe and realize that managing is a process and takes time to learn and develop your skills.

As we grow as leaders and managers, limiting beliefs can inhibit our growth. Instead of seeing a fork in the road, a limiting belief may force us down only one path, which may or may not be the right one. In order to expand our paths and broaden our opportunities for growth and change, we need to recognize our limiting beliefs and work to shift our mindset.

How do we recognize a limiting belief?

  • Bring awareness to the words we use. Does the belief help us move forward or limit our potential?
  • Be honest.  Is the belief or story we are telling actually true?
  • Stick to the facts. Saying you are a young leader is true but saying you are a young leader so therefore people won’t listen is not accurate. Is there evidence behind it?
  • Take a pause before you finish the sentence with a belief that does not serve you. There is a big difference between telling yourself, “I don’t have experience starting a company” versus “I don’t have experience starting a company so therefore I can’t do it.”

The next time you stop yourself from taking on a new challenge or making a difficult decision, ask yourself—what are you afraid of? Are your own beliefs keeping you small? You may be able to recognize the limitations you place on yourself are unfounded or lack evidence, and you may find a new, positive momentum toward achieving the outcome you desire. Ultimately, we want to get in the practice of recognizing a limiting belief and reframing it to help us take a step forward.

Alissa Finerman is an executive coach and Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach. She works with managers, leaders and teams to improve performance and engagement levels. She holds an MBA from the Wharton School and is the author of Living in Your Top 1%.

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: leadership, limiting beliefs, mindset

What’s Your Management Style

February 11, 2017 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

I had the opportunity to work with a group of 35 managers this week in a full-day strengths based leadership training event. One of the first questions I asked was for each person to describe their management style in one word. Obviously you might need more than one simple word to describe your style but it was an interesting exercise to learn more about each person and connect the group. The responses ranged from direct, listener, empowering, positive, supportive and more. It’s critical for each manager to understand his/her management style and then gain feedback on how effective it is.

If you’re not sure what your management style might be, a valuable approach is to identify your strengths to first understand what you do well (you can take the CliftonStrengths assessment to identify your top strengths). As an example, if your strength is developer your management style might be supportive, if your strength is consistency your style could be fairness and if your strength is strategic your style might be thoughtful. One of the words that was shared repeatedly was direct and I think it will be helpful to discuss in more depth.

It’s important to understand that being direct is neutral but it’s the person that makes a “direct” management style effective or ineffective. When you use your management style effectively you increase trust and respect and when you don’t you decrease trust and respect.

When a “direct” management style is effective, people know where they stand, they get immediate feedback on a project, issues are dealt with before they escalate and decisions are made rather than put off. For example, one client was direct in dealing with a conflict by identifying the issue in a timely way and talking to the people involved to understand the issues and make suggestions to help resolve it. This was an effective approach because it dealt with the issue, helped the team stay on track and prevented any additional drama.

When a “direct” management style is ineffective, the manager’s direct words can be harsh, insensitive, offensive, off-putting, increase conflicts and lack compassion. For example, the manager who gives negative feedback in an offensive way in the middle of a meeting and embarrasses someone on his team so the person receiving it is demotivated and wondering if they need to find another job.

Managers need to understand that sometimes you need to tone up or tone down your management style rather than say this is how I am so take it or leave it. Managers need to be aware enough to observe how their style is working to engage the team, build trust, create a stable environment, instill hope, show compassion and produce results. It’s not enough to only deliver results without the other elements if you want people to want to work on your team and contribute at their highest levels.

What’s your management style and how do you know if it’s effective?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Filed Under: Managing Tagged With: leadership, management style, managing, success

Alissa Finerman’s Living in YOUR Top 1% Action Plan Podcast

December 29, 2016 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

I created this special Living in YOUR Top 1% action plan podcast because I know how difficult it can be to get started. I  have also learned that we all need some support regardless of our previous achievements. The perfect place to start is right where you are regardless of how imperfect it may seem at the time. Please give yourself 25 minutes of uninterrupted time to focus on yourself and listen to the podcast. Feel free to write down some ideas in your journal or computer to start the process. The ideas in this podcast are from my book Living in YOUR Top 1% which provides a more detailed roadmap to help people live their best life.

Listen to Alissa’s Living in YOUR Top 1% Action Plan

https://alissafinerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/01-Alissa-Pod-Cast-1-Seven-Step-Action-Plan.mp3

Living in YOUR Top 1% is about expanding your mindset and broadening your idea of what’s possible to live YOUR best life. It’s about taking the words can’t, should and impossible out of your vocabulary and focusing on what you CAN do today — however big or small the step may be. It’s often only a small mindset shift between good and great. Think about what goals you would be excited to achieve this year and then let’s make it happen.

Wishing you all the best for a top 1% year!

“If everything seems under control, you are not going fast enough.” – Mario Andretti

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb, the Milken Institute, LA Business Journal, Prostate Cancer Foundation, and NBC Universal. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Filed Under: Living in Your Top 1%, Podcast Tagged With: action plan, leadership, living in your top 1%, Setting Goals, strengths

Using Feedforward to Have Your Best Year

December 21, 2016 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

As we start the new year I like to first take a moment and have my clients focus on their wins for the previous year. What are you most proud about and why? Your wins can be big or small. It’s important to focus on what went well and what accomplishments you achieved. They could include starting a new business, getting a major client, writing your first blog, surpassing a certain revenue figure, becoming a yoga instructor, successfully changing roles or careers or making time for your family and friends. What did you learn and how will that shape your decisions for 2017?

The next thing I like to have my clients focus on is selecting two or three specific things they want to improve or change. People don’t change until they are ready and decide to make something a priority and commit to it. People will make the change when they realize it actually benefits and improves their own life. The other important element to realize is it’s not enough to think that you’ve successfully changed. We need the people in our life or at work to let us know they see a change. So if you are working on sharing your voice or listening, we can only know that we have successfully made the change when our circle of friends or co-workers sees a difference.

Here is where a new twist on feedback called feedforward comes in. This is a concept that Marshall Goldsmith, an executive coach, developed and it’s very impactful. Feedback focuses on what happened in the past. It focuses on what we are not doing well. Does anyone like to hear what we are not doing well? Most people I know do not like hearing feedback unless it’s positive and even then we are nervous until we know what the feedback is about. Feedforward is a very empowering process where the person making the change selects the behavior they want to work on. They pick 4-5 supportive and non-judgmental people to share the behavior with and ask for two suggestions to help. You are only allowed to say thank you and nothing else to each person who makes a suggestion.

You can do this with your team at work and it goes like this:

* Select a behavior that you want to change

* Partner up with a co-worker and share the behavior you plan to change (ie, I will share my voice in team meetings).

* Your partner shares two suggestions of FeedForward that can have a positive impact.

* Each person in the exercise takes notes on the suggestions made.

* Thank your partner for their suggestions. You can only say thank you and nothing else. This allows each person to fully listen.

* The other partner shares what he or she is working on and receives two suggestions. They thank the person for their suggestions.

* You repeat the process with another partner.

This is an exercise in giving and receiving feedback without making a judgment. You simply thank your partner for listening and sharing a suggestion. You may not like every suggestion but you may also be surprised and receive a few good ideas that you would not have previously considered. Most people enjoy this exercise because it’s forward thinking and involves something that you have control over and can change.

3 Rules to honor for FeedForward:

  1. People can only say thank you and nothing else when you hear the suggestions.
  2. Keep this as a judgment free zone. You don’t need to tell your partner whether you like their ideas but rather simply say thank you.
  3. Each partner sharing exercise should be under three minutes in total with both people sharing.

Once you have shared what you want to work on, you circle back to this same group of people each month to ask them how you’re doing. If they see a change you know you are making progress if they don’t you need to keep working. This is a process so give yourself at least a few months to see progress or more.

Including the process of feedforward into your routine is essential to getting better and improving. We have to involve other people in this process to get their input and learn how we are doing. Even if you think you have become a better listener but your inside circle thinks you still interrupt others, you may lose their respect and have unnecessary conflicts.
This is an easy and fun way to make a huge impact in your life and improve your relationships in all areas of your life. I’ll share three specific things I am focusing on for the new year: fully listening and pausing before I speak rather than reacting, being patient and staying present with each conversation (ie put your phone away)!!

Feel free to share what you are working on for the new year!

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb, the Milken Institute, LA Business Journal, Prostate Cancer Foundation, and NBC Universal. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: feedback, feedforward, leadership, strengths coaching, success

Best Articles on Leading with Strengths

December 20, 2016 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

As a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach I have seen how a strengths approach can make a difference for employees, customers and companies. It’s a win-win. The Gallup Organization does amazing research on the strengths based approach and how it can help your employees, managers and organization. Here are a few excellent articles to learn more. Feel free to contact me with any questions or to learn more about doing a strengths seminar for your team.

* How a strengths based development approach can improve profit, sales, engagement for your company, customers and employees

ROI for Strengths Based Development

* Managers can make a huge impact in the success of your company and employee engagement. This article shares why managers matter, how they can make a positive or negative impact and a few strategies to help them development.

Manager Development Matters

* The strengths based development approach is impactful. This article shares some powerful stats that companies are seeing from using this approach. It also shares some best practices for managers to consider.

Strengths Based Development: The Manager’s Role

Why Aren’t All Organizations Strengths Based

Why Coaches are Essential to Creating Strengths Based Organizations

Building A Strengths Based Organization

Do Strengths Differ for Men and Women

Strengths Based Development for Leaders

Do Employees Know What’s Expected of Them

 

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb, the Milken Institute, LA Business Journal, Prostate Cancer Foundation, and NBC Universal. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Filed Under: Strengths Tagged With: engagement, Gallup Strengths Coach, leadership, managers

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 5
  • Go to Next Page »
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Categories

  • Feedback
  • Goal Setting
  • Interview Series: Living in YOUR Top 1%
  • Leadership
  • Living in Your Top 1%
  • Managing
  • Mindset
  • Motivation
  • Overcome Obstacles
  • Podcast
  • Strengths
  • Success
  • Uncategorized
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Contact

To contact Alissa about executive coaching, presenting a seminar for your team, leadership consulting or inviting her to speak at an upcoming event/conference, please email: Alissa@FinermanLiving.com

Copyright © 2022 Alissa Finerman · Design by Pixel Dust, LLC · Log in