Alissa Finerman

Los Angeles Executive Coach, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Facilitator and Author

Crossroads Are A Good Thing

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Crossroads as an opportunity

* This article was featured on Positively Positive

It feels like the biggest ordeal when we come to a CROSSROADS almost as if you’re the only one this is happening to.

Which direction shall you take with your life? Is it time to change jobs, move to a new city, start a family, make a shift in your relationship or finally start your own company?

The feelings can be overwhelming at times. This is all normal for being at a crossroads – that time in your life when you need to figure out your next move in some area of your life such as career or relationships or feel bored working at the same company or are ready for something new.

This feeling will happen over and over again as long as you are creating and continuing to uncover your potential.

Yes, it’s normal.

It’s ok.

And you are on the right path.

You can find yourself at a crossroads regardless of your education, title, role, or how much money you have. It happens to all of us including CEO’s, managers, moms, athletes, musicians and entrepreneurs. It’s actually a good thing because it’s your internal watchdog telling you that something needs to change. This is where the problem rises — the dreaded change factor. On one hand you’re telling yourself that something needs to change but on the other hand to honor this feeling you have to move outside your comfort zone and experience change!

Why would we want to do this when we know that change leads to feelings of uncertainty and with uncertainty there can be fear? Because it’s part of the process of growth and there can also be excitement, learning, success and fulfillment. Please note, you may experience some dips along the way – this is normal too!

I’m working with coaching clients and the theme of crossroads/transitions continues to emerge regardless of industry, background, specific role, money or age. Some are considering their next move such as starting their own company, redefining success and what the ideal environment looks like, launching a new product line, deciding between two jobs, moving to a new city, and starting or ending a relationship. It’s scary but it’s also possible. It’s challenging to leave something that is known even if it’s not particularly fulfilling or the best role for you. It takes courage, listening to your truth, and stepping into the unknown to create something new.

Being at a crossroads is part of the process as you uncover your potential. Sometimes the feelings are overwhelming and frustrating but trust this is the way forward. Consider your options, do the research, define what’s important to you and take a small step. One piece of advice, move away from what you or others think you “should” do and honor your truth. Do not let circumstances that you see as fixed (such as a mortgage) define what is possible as you create your ideal. And finally, move in the direction that resonates with you, not someone else.

Crossroads occur time and time again and give you the opportunity to explore your next level. Accept and embrace them!

Have you successfully moved through a recent crossroads? We’d love to hear about it.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena and Bristol-Myers Squibb. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Uncertainty Is A Good Thing

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This post was featured on Positively Positive

“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.”– R.I. Fitzhenry

Uncertainty can be challenging but ultimately it’s what keeps life meaningful.

Uncertainty is…

Stressful and exciting

Fear invoking and empowering

Unnerving and confidence building

The process of uncertainty is called life. It’s what keeps things interesting, engaging, and fulfilling. If you knew what to expect at all times, my guess is you’d get bored, very bored. Yes, of course there are plenty of areas where we don’t welcome uncertainty. From simple things such as having your morning coffee taste just right to knowing your car will start to more major things such as getting a clean bill of health from your doctor each year.

You may feel uncertain when you step into the unknown and decide to be your own boss, start a family, buy a home, change jobs, or even sign-up for a class. I felt lots of uncertainty when I left my finance job in NYC and started a new career as a Business Coach, and then again when I moved from NYC to Los Angeles. I also built a lot of confidence by making it through each of these transitions. You have to step through the phase called uncertainty to create something bigger in your life.

Many people condition their mind to view a change in their situation as a bad thing when in reality it’s neutral. The event only takes on a positive or negative spin when we classify it. Typically, we are excited for “positive” events and uncomfortable with “negative” events because they fall outside our comfort zone. Feeling unsure or being in the uncertain phase is similar to being outside your comfort zone.

People who turn ideas into action agree that the magic happens outside your comfort zone. 

Here’s why uncertainty can be a good thing in your life:

1. Uncertainty Leads to Major Breakthroughs

Think about major shifts and successes in your life. Were you 100% sure of the process the entire time or did you have some doubts?

One of my clients had a catering business in NYC that was highly respected but she was always struggling to get her next gig. She wanted something better for herself. She researched other careers and together we decided that her strengths matched a career in Residential Real Estate. Everyone told her it was a difficult time to enter the NYC market, and it was, but she was determined. She became a broker at a well-known company and became Rookie Broker of the Year in 2011. She’s on track to be the top broker in the office this year and, most importantly, loves her career. She had to step into the unknown to discover what she could accomplish.

2. Uncertainty Leads to a Confidence boost

When you successfully move through challenging periods such as starting your own company, changing careers, losing weight, or taking on a new project, you gain one more data point and prove to yourself that you can do it. These are called “wins” and they need to be acknowledged. There’s nothing new about the concept of uncertainty, just that it pushes you outside your comfort zone, which is naturally an uncomfortable feeling.

We all have uncertainty in our lives—sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of what we’ve achieved and leverage these wins to build confidence.

3. Uncertainty Leads to Growth

After twenty-five years, Oprah said goodbye to her number one-rated talk show. Few people would part with this level of success to start a network. Initially there was much doubt around the network but they continue to take small steps forward each day and make progress. Oprah always wondered what her initials could be used for and when she started her network, OWN, it finally made sense (OWN = Oprah Winfrey Network). All achievers and entrepreneurs have to move through uncertainty to continue to grow.

The simple truth is that you need uncertainty in your life because it’s the fuel that helps you Live in Your Top 1% and reach for your highest potential.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Challenge yourself to condition your mind to realize that uncertainty leads to extraordinary opportunity and potential. Becoming comfortable with uncertainty is one of the key ingredients to success.  And to share your best self, you need to produce genius level work and continuously move through these transition periods.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena and Bristol-Myers Squibb. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

The Power of Uncertainty

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Editor’s Note: This article appeared on Positively Positive and The Wharton School Blog.

“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.” – R.I. Fitzhenry

Uncertainty can be challenging but ultimately it’s what keeps life meaningful.

Uncertainty is…

Stressful and exciting

Fear invoking and empowering

Unnerving and confidence building

The process of uncertainty is called life. It’s what keeps things interesting, engaging and fulfilling. If you knew what to expect at all times, my guess is you’d get bored, very bored. Yes, of course there are plenty of areas where we don’t welcome uncertainty. From simple things such as having your morning coffee taste just right to knowing your car will start to more major things such as getting a clean bill of health from your doctor each year.

You may feel uncertain when you step into the unknown and decide to be your own boss, start a family, buy a home, change jobs, or even sign-up for a class. I felt lots of uncertainty when I left my finance job in NYC and started a new career as an Executive Coach, and then again when I moved from NYC to Los Angeles. I also built a lot of confidence by making it through each of these transitions. You have to step through the phase called uncertainty to create something bigger in your life.

Many people condition their mind to view a change in their situation as a bad thing when in reality it’s neutral. The event only takes on a positive or negative spin when we classify it. Typically, we are excited for “positive” events and uncomfortable with “negative” events because they fall outside our comfort zone. Feeling unsure or being in the uncertain phase is similar to being outside your comfort zone.

People who turn ideas into action agree that the magic happens outside your comfort zone.

Here’s why uncertainty can be a good thing in your life:
1. Uncertainty Leads to Major Breakthroughs

Think about major shifts and successes in your life. Were you 100% sure of the process the entire time or did you have some doubts?

One of my clients had a catering business in NYC that was highly respected but she was always struggling to get her next gig. She wanted something better for herself. She researched other careers and together we decided that her strengths matched a career in Residential Real Estate. Everyone told her it was a difficult time to enter the NYC market, and it was, but she was determined. She became a broker at a well-known company and became Rookie Broker of the Year the next year. She’s on track to be the top broker in the office this year and, most importantly, loves her career. She had to step into the unknown to discover what she could accomplish.

2. Uncertainty Leads to a Confidence Boost

When you successfully move through challenging periods such as starting your own company, changing careers, losing weight, or taking on a new project, you gain one more data point and prove to yourself that you CAN do it. These are called “wins” and they need to be acknowledged. There’s nothing new about the concept of uncertainty, just that it pushes you outside your comfort zone, which is naturally an uncomfortable feeling.

We all have uncertainty in our lives—sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of what we’ve achieved and leverage these wins to build confidence.

3. Uncertainty Leads to Growth

After twenty-five years, Oprah said goodbye to her number one-rated talk show. Few people would part with this level of success to start a network. There’s much doubt around the network but they continue to take small steps forward each day. Oprah always wondered what her initials could be used for and when she started her network, OWN, it finally made sense (OWN = Oprah Winfrey Network). All achievers and entrepreneurs have to move through uncertainty to continue to grow.

The simple truth is that you need uncertainty in your life because it’s the fuel that helps you Live in Your Top 1% and reach for your highest potential.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Challenge yourself to condition your mind to realize that uncertainty leads to extraordinary opportunity and potential. Becoming comfortable with uncertainty is one of the key ingredients to success. And to share your best self, you need to produce genius level work and continuously move through these transition periods.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Obstacles Are Universal

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I have yet to find a path worth pursuing that does not have some obstacles. I was playing a father daughter tennis tournament in San Diego and I hurt my back and went to see the athletic trainer on site. She was a very sweet and smart Asian woman from the University of San Diego. She had a 3.8 grade point average and you could tell she was a winner. We started talking about her career and she shared that she loves to work with athletes so she wanted to be a trainer. I asked what she really wanted to do and her eyes lit up as she said, “a doctor.” I asked what was holding her back from pursuing her dream and she said money. What I know for sure is that any path this girl takes will have obstacles. This is not to down play real financial obstacles but the point is choosing a path that you think is “easy” does not necessarily have fewer obstacles. It just has different obstacles. So whether you choose to become an athletic trainer, physical therapist, nurse or doctor you will have obstacles the entire journey.

I share this story because we all have dreams and often we talk ourselves out of something because there is a big ugly obstacle standing in your way. What gets you over obstacles is having clarity and pursuing a goal that is meaningful to you. Obstacles seem scarier than they really are. One helpful rule of thumb is to think about what you really want to achieve and then figure out a way to deal with the obstacles. If you focus on the obstacles first you will have a hard time starting anything. Give yourself a chance and pursue what you really want. You’re closer than you think.

If you’re wondering, my dad and I made it to the semi-finals of the tournament!

Thanks for reading.

Alissa

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook