Alissa Finerman

Los Angeles Executive Coach, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Facilitator and Author

The Challenge Between Holding On vs Letting Go

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Alissa’s blog was featured on the Wharton Magazine Blog.

Letting go is a difficult concept in business and in life. Part of you feels like you’re losing or failing at something. The other side, though, is you’re opening yourself up to new possibilities. The concept of letting go matters because you can’t hold on to and stay open to new possibilities at the same time. You have to choose.

Missed opportunities abound in careers, relationships, personal growth, finances and healthy living. For example:

Perhaps you dislike your company and your boss but continue to hold on and forgo working in an enjoyable role with a mentor who would have developed your leadership skills.

Perhaps you’re holding on to a job at a great company, with a fancy title, but which prevents you from pursuing your passion.

Perhaps you’re retaining a nice employee who is doing a poor job and holding back your organization, while at same time preventing the employee from finding a more appropriate role.

Perhaps you’re holding on to responsibilities that you would be better off delegating.

And perhaps you’re holding on to a personal relationship or a business deal which serves neither of you, as opposed to having a relationship that enhances your life.

We’ve all done our share of each of these; I know I have. Every step forward you don’t take is a step you give up on your journey to fulfilling your potential. You may think this conflict weighs only on your life, but it can have an impact on your partner, your family, a team, an organization, a community and ultimately, our society.

The issue is finding the right balance. I’m not suggesting you quit your job today if you’re not completely happy. Nor am I suggesting you break up with your significant other. But pause and do an honest assessment by asking the following:

1. What are you holding on to?

2. Does it have a positive or negative impact on your business and your life?

3. Can you impose a deadline to re-evaluate and make a decision?

4. If you had no constraints, could you turn that something you are holding on to into something positive? If so, what would it be?

5. What three steps can you take this week to make progress?

These questions may seem simple, but they can be challenging to answer and take time to put into practice. Our work is to align what we know and what we practice. Success is not an overnight game.

Both choices—what to hold on to and where to let go—are scary so you might as well make the choice with some positive upside. It can take time but know that it’s possible!

I’d love to hear what you need to let go of to move to the next level in your career and life. Let me know below in a comment, or feel free to directly email me.

About Alissa

Alissa is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in Your Top 1%. To learn more, visit www.AlissaFinerman.com

Crossroads Are A Good Thing

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Crossroads as an opportunity

* This article was featured on Positively Positive

It feels like the biggest ordeal when we come to a CROSSROADS almost as if you’re the only one this is happening to.

Which direction shall you take with your life? Is it time to change jobs, move to a new city, start a family, make a shift in your relationship or finally start your own company?

The feelings can be overwhelming at times. This is all normal for being at a crossroads – that time in your life when you need to figure out your next move in some area of your life such as career or relationships or feel bored working at the same company or are ready for something new.

This feeling will happen over and over again as long as you are creating and continuing to uncover your potential.

Yes, it’s normal.

It’s ok.

And you are on the right path.

You can find yourself at a crossroads regardless of your education, title, role, or how much money you have. It happens to all of us including CEO’s, managers, moms, athletes, musicians and entrepreneurs. It’s actually a good thing because it’s your internal watchdog telling you that something needs to change. This is where the problem rises — the dreaded change factor. On one hand you’re telling yourself that something needs to change but on the other hand to honor this feeling you have to move outside your comfort zone and experience change!

Why would we want to do this when we know that change leads to feelings of uncertainty and with uncertainty there can be fear? Because it’s part of the process of growth and there can also be excitement, learning, success and fulfillment. Please note, you may experience some dips along the way – this is normal too!

I’m working with coaching clients and the theme of crossroads/transitions continues to emerge regardless of industry, background, specific role, money or age. Some are considering their next move such as starting their own company, redefining success and what the ideal environment looks like, launching a new product line, deciding between two jobs, moving to a new city, and starting or ending a relationship. It’s scary but it’s also possible. It’s challenging to leave something that is known even if it’s not particularly fulfilling or the best role for you. It takes courage, listening to your truth, and stepping into the unknown to create something new.

Being at a crossroads is part of the process as you uncover your potential. Sometimes the feelings are overwhelming and frustrating but trust this is the way forward. Consider your options, do the research, define what’s important to you and take a small step. One piece of advice, move away from what you or others think you “should” do and honor your truth. Do not let circumstances that you see as fixed (such as a mortgage) define what is possible as you create your ideal. And finally, move in the direction that resonates with you, not someone else.

Crossroads occur time and time again and give you the opportunity to explore your next level. Accept and embrace them!

Have you successfully moved through a recent crossroads? We’d love to hear about it.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena and Bristol-Myers Squibb. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook