top 1%

Day 31

September 4, 2012 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

* Editor’s Note: This post was featured on Positively Positive.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” – Anthony Robbins

Have you ever committed to doing something for 30 days and then reverted back to your old habits? I know I have and I’m guessing many others have too!

My challenge to you is to decide what actions you are willing to weave into your life on Day 31 and after to pursue goals that are meaningful. This is when the magic happens. The changes don’t have to be drastic just consistent.

Short-term changes get you in the game. Long-term shifts elevate the playing field. You have to decide where you want to play.

This idea of making a change came up during a recent coaching conversation with a client. He shared that he wanted to get back into shape and planned to work out everyday for 30 days and hire a trainer with the hope of losing ten pounds (you can substitute working out for anything you want to shift in your life).

It always starts with an intention — and I like this one as getting in shape aligned with the client’s value of healthy living. Your intentions and actions are much more powerful when they align with your values.

The question is what happens on Day 31 and 32 and 33 and so on? Do I think someone can workout everyday for 30 days or achieve any other short-term target – YES! Does the research suggest that the majority of people resume their old patterns once they hit an interim target – YES! The challenge is maintaining the results you want after the initial 30 days or initial time frame is over. Then what happens when the trainer is gone?

My client and I focused on why he wanted to lose the weight, how that would make him feel and what having more energy would allow him to do in his life (ie, play with his kids on the weekend and be involved in their lives). The point is my client wasn’t committing to working out just for 30 days but rather committing to a way of life and taking care of himself. That’s a very different intention. He used the 30-day period to jumpstart the project and realized that working out everyday wasn’t a viable strategy given his heavy travel schedule. Since he was only currently working out 1-2 days sporadically, he revised the goal to work out at least 3 days a week (anything more was a bonus and helped to build his confidence). This small shift helped him look forward to working out rather than seeing it as a chore and stressful. Once he successfully completed the month of 3 workouts per week (and lost 5 pounds) he built confidence, had more energy, and believed that he could keep going. Sometimes you have to revise your goal to stay on track.

Being your best self is a lifestyle issue (aka Living in YOUR Top 1%) rather than a one off fad. For example, if you practice a specific religion or being a vegetarian, that’s how you live everyday as opposed to just the days it’s convenient. The challenge for all of us who want real change becomes creating a sustainable set of rituals that we are willing to honor and put into practice consistently.

Top 1% Bottom Line: It’s matter what you do consistently rather than what you do once in a while. Day 31 defines where we go.

Please share what’s important to you and what practices you will put into action on Day 31+ to make a postive impact in your life and others?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Talking vs Doing

April 30, 2012 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

Editor’s Note: This post also appeared on Positively Positive

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”–Mary Oliver

I am going to train for my first triathlon (but you never made it a priority).

I am going to find a new job (but you were overwhelmed with fear of moving outside your comfort zone).

I am going to start my own business (but you never fine-tuned your business idea and followed through).

I want to have exceptional relationships (but you still let yourself be involved with people who drain your energy).

Are we creating a society in which people think it’s acceptable to say one thing and do another?

Why is this OK?

What happened to having a little consistency and following through with our thoughts?

Are you TALKING or are you DOING?

Some of us are dreamers and some of us are dream-makers. It’s a subtle difference. That difference is taking the steps to make it happen; in moving our thoughts into action with a purpose. Not a simple task but it needs to be done if you want to reach your greatest potential and share your best self with the world.

Many people will dream of starting a movement that inspires people to live their best life. Only a few people will actually do the work.

Doing what you say you are going to do is a very attractive quality.

It’s easy to just talk about starting your own blog, running your first 5k, or changing jobs, but it’s much more empowering and fulfilling when you DO what you say. It’s an immediate boost to your confidence and expands your view of what’s possible. You will feel amazing when you write your first blog (maybe it turns into a book), cross the finish line (maybe it turns into a marathon), or find a job that you truly enjoy (maybe you start your own business).

The simple truth is that—just as we choose to condition ourselves to say we are going to do something and then NOT do it—we can choose to condition ourselves to DO what we say.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: You have to decide what level of Talking vs. Doing is acceptable in your life to share your best self and Live in YOUR Top 1%! I am Positively Positive that as you close the gap between TALKING and DOING, you will experience significant shifts in your life.

So, what’s it going to be—more talking or more doing? Let the world know what you’re going to do in the comments below.

About Alissa

Your Starting Place Does Not Define You

March 28, 2012 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

Editor’s note: This post was featured on Positively Positive

“Your story is where you take it to, not where you start.” – Tony Robbins

Let’s be honest and get a few things out on the table…

Your starting point does not define you.

We all need to start somewhere — even the masters.

What matters is where you want to go rather than where you are right now.

Your starting place is just that, where you start. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s neutral. Jeff Bezos started Amazon in the garage. Steve Jobs started Apple in his garage as well. Most people would think that was a pretty terrible place to start. Both visionaries built incredibly successful companies that have changed the world and what’s possible. Iyanla Vanzant, an author and self-help guru, was completely broke at one point in her life. She is now a NY Times bestselling author and will soon have a self-empowerment show on Oprah’s network OWN. Although, we tend to classify our starting place as negative, it’s just a starting place. No need to be dramatic!

“We can think, speak, and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we are going, not on where we think we are.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Do yourself and everyone around you a favor, please stop being so tough on yourself because your starting place is difficult.

Your starting place may be that you don’t have enough money, education, contacts, or knowledge to start your business. Or, your starting place could be that you have all the money in the world and a successful business but you’re not fulfilled.

I had a solid starting place when I was in New York City…working on Wall Street for a top tier investment bank, making good money, living in a nice apartment in NYC, and having a great lifestyle. Most people would not have given up the lifestyle I had, but it wasn’t what I wanted so I had to start again. When I wrote my book, Living in Your Top 1%, I started from scratch…no experience, no contacts in the business, and no one to offer advice.

Your starting place is irrelevant. Yes, I know this sounds crazy.

What matters is your clarity, choices, and commitment to take action and create what you want.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: It’s not about where you start but rather where you want to go. Big difference. People are frustrated by what they have AND don’t have. Your starting place is a point of reference when you look back to see how far you’ve come.

About Alissa

What Would YOUR Top 1% Do?

March 25, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 2 Comments

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” – Naguib Mahfouz, won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1988

I often hear the question What would love do or What would kindness do? I love these questions because they help to guide us forward with compassion and truth. Let me add one more powerful question to the mix…

What Would YOUR Top 1% Do?

Perhaps this is not a question you are used to asking but why not? It’s all about conditioning our mind to reach our potential. Some people prefer to ask, why did this happen or why did that happen which puts you in a constant state of analyzing rather than moving forward.

Please note, your Top 1% represents potential and opportunity rather than how much money you have, your level of education, your title, or how many homes you own. It’s about being fulfilled, growing, and practicing rituals to share your best self with the world. Each of us can define what our personal Top 1% looks like.

Let’s take a look at three different areas in your life and ask…
What would YOUR Top 1% do?

1. Career: You are in an unfulfilling job
Top 1% Question: What does it cost you on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level to not be engaged or fulfilled in your job?

Top 1%ers see the big picture and have the courage to take steps to change a reality that is not working. It may take time to change a situation but to live in your top 1% you need to take small steps forward and live your truth (ie, call a headhunter, fine-tune your resume, or have informational interviews to learn about a company).

2. Health: You keep talking about getting in shape but do not follow-through
Top 1% Question: Does being inconsistent with your thoughts and actions align with your goals and lead to the results you want?

Top 1%ers practice a high level of consistency and focus on core priorities. In this scenario, it’s essential to understand why working out is important and how it improves your life. If you don’t value health or care about working out, then it may not be the right goal or priority for your right now.

3. Relationships: You have a friend who drains your energy
Top 1% Question: What does your ideal Top 1% team look like and does this friend add to or detract from your team?

People who want to live in their top 1% understand the importance of having people in their life (aka a Top 1% team) who enhance their life rather than drain their energy. You only have so much time and energy so don’t be afraid to honor yourself. As Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: At every step, you have the option to go for good or great. You can condition your mind to quickly align choices, goals and actions by asking better questions. Asking the right questions which help you move forward will help you gain clarity and, ultimately, make better decisions. If you can make better decisions, you can position yourself for success by sharing YOUR Top 1% with the world.

Life is a series of choices. It’s a process, not magic.

About Alissa

The Power of Uncertainty

March 21, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 3 Comments

Editor’s Note: This article appeared on Positively Positive and The Wharton School Blog.

“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.” – R.I. Fitzhenry

Uncertainty can be challenging but ultimately it’s what keeps life meaningful.

Uncertainty is…

Stressful and exciting

Fear invoking and empowering

Unnerving and confidence building

The process of uncertainty is called life. It’s what keeps things interesting, engaging and fulfilling. If you knew what to expect at all times, my guess is you’d get bored, very bored. Yes, of course there are plenty of areas where we don’t welcome uncertainty. From simple things such as having your morning coffee taste just right to knowing your car will start to more major things such as getting a clean bill of health from your doctor each year.

You may feel uncertain when you step into the unknown and decide to be your own boss, start a family, buy a home, change jobs, or even sign-up for a class. I felt lots of uncertainty when I left my finance job in NYC and started a new career as an Executive Coach, and then again when I moved from NYC to Los Angeles. I also built a lot of confidence by making it through each of these transitions. You have to step through the phase called uncertainty to create something bigger in your life.

Many people condition their mind to view a change in their situation as a bad thing when in reality it’s neutral. The event only takes on a positive or negative spin when we classify it. Typically, we are excited for “positive” events and uncomfortable with “negative” events because they fall outside our comfort zone. Feeling unsure or being in the uncertain phase is similar to being outside your comfort zone.

People who turn ideas into action agree that the magic happens outside your comfort zone.

Here’s why uncertainty can be a good thing in your life:
1. Uncertainty Leads to Major Breakthroughs

Think about major shifts and successes in your life. Were you 100% sure of the process the entire time or did you have some doubts?

One of my clients had a catering business in NYC that was highly respected but she was always struggling to get her next gig. She wanted something better for herself. She researched other careers and together we decided that her strengths matched a career in Residential Real Estate. Everyone told her it was a difficult time to enter the NYC market, and it was, but she was determined. She became a broker at a well-known company and became Rookie Broker of the Year the next year. She’s on track to be the top broker in the office this year and, most importantly, loves her career. She had to step into the unknown to discover what she could accomplish.

2. Uncertainty Leads to a Confidence Boost

When you successfully move through challenging periods such as starting your own company, changing careers, losing weight, or taking on a new project, you gain one more data point and prove to yourself that you CAN do it. These are called “wins” and they need to be acknowledged. There’s nothing new about the concept of uncertainty, just that it pushes you outside your comfort zone, which is naturally an uncomfortable feeling.

We all have uncertainty in our lives—sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of what we’ve achieved and leverage these wins to build confidence.

3. Uncertainty Leads to Growth

After twenty-five years, Oprah said goodbye to her number one-rated talk show. Few people would part with this level of success to start a network. There’s much doubt around the network but they continue to take small steps forward each day. Oprah always wondered what her initials could be used for and when she started her network, OWN, it finally made sense (OWN = Oprah Winfrey Network). All achievers and entrepreneurs have to move through uncertainty to continue to grow.

The simple truth is that you need uncertainty in your life because it’s the fuel that helps you Live in Your Top 1% and reach for your highest potential.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Challenge yourself to condition your mind to realize that uncertainty leads to extraordinary opportunity and potential. Becoming comfortable with uncertainty is one of the key ingredients to success. And to share your best self, you need to produce genius level work and continuously move through these transition periods.

About Alissa

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