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Alissa Finerman

Los Angeles Executive Coach, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, Facilitator and Author

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Should vs Value Goals

August 27, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

There are lots of ways we can discover our potential and see what’s possible in our life. One very powerful way is through the process of goal-setting. You may ask —Why set goals? There are lots of reasons. One convincing one is that goals add meaning to our lives. We do this not just by accomplishing any goal but by working toward something that we value and is meaningful.

Goals help us see new possibilities.

A lot of people set goals that I label as should goals. These are goals that other people, family or society think you should do. Often these should goals do not resonate with you on a deeper level and leave you feeling unfulfilled even when you achieve them. The goal will sound perfectly fine on the surface such as work for a well known corporation, start your own business, get promoted to VP, manage a team, get in shape and lose ten pounds, volunteer or start a family. Setting a goal that does not interest or inspire you will only frustrate you. Stay away from these goals as they will rarely bring greater meaning to your life.

To clarify, the issue is not the specific goal.

The issue is whether your goal is a should or value goal for you.

Value based goals are aligned with a core value that is important to YOU such as adventure, respect, learning or connection. So if healthy living is not a core value then getting in shape will never be fun, even though health is a top priority value for others. Similarly, if independence is a core value then working your way up the corporate ladder and working for someone else may not be as fulfilling as starting your own business. And even more shocking, if family is not your top value then starting a family may take a back seat to building your business. Once you fine-tune your goals to align with your values, you will feel a renewed sense of motivation and purpose.

Full disclosure, accomplishing a goal that is aligned with your values is still not a walk through the park. You will always have speed bumps that come up on your path. It’s actually your ability to move outside your comfort zone through short term challenges that helps you build confidence and believe in yourself. This leads to a positive upward spiral which motivates you to explore what else is possible. Setting a goal that matters to YOU can be life changing and open your world to true success.

You know you have a meaningful goal when it speaks to your heart. 

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena and Bristol-Myers Squibb. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Filed Under: Goal Setting Tagged With: living in your top 1%, motivation, possibilities, purpose, setting and achieving goals, shoulds, values

Seeing Uncomfortable As The New Comfortable

September 5, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 1 Comment

* Editor’s Note: This post was featured on Positively Positive.

What if your mindset believed uncomfortable was the new comfortable? Would you make different choices and take different actions in your career, finances, and relationships?

Being in uncharted territory is a simple and often unsettling signal that you are on the right track. This is when opportunities emerge in your life and you move to another level. The playing field shifts and it’s powerful, scary and expansive. Welcome these moments!

Uncharted territory in your life is not good or bad, it just is. Yes, it may rattle your foundation and you may be tempted to pullback, say you can’t do it, or bail completely. But these are exactly the conditions that set you up for massive growth, joy, and new experiences in your life.

This idea relates to my clients in many different ways: the small business owner working to expand his/her business and brand, the manager working through a transition in his/her career, the single dad looking to generate passive income to support his family, the first time parents sending their child to school, or all of us working through a new relationship whether it be personal or with a business partner.

Personally, when I look back on some of the “uncomfortable” moments in my life which have turned into “wins,” I was completely in new territory and didn’t know what would happen: leaving my finance job and changing careers (would I find a career I love = yes), moving to California (would I make friends and build a new community = yes), writing my first book (would I write an inspiring book = yes :)) or doing my first Half-Ironman (would I be able to swim 1.2 miles then bike 56 and run 13.1 = yes). It’s never easy but it’s always possible when you give yourself a chance and step forward.

The bottom line is if you’re growing and doing something new, you will be in uncharted waters. That’s just how it works. Staying in your comfort zone is always an option but that gets a bit boring after a while.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Filed Under: Motivation Tagged With: living in your top 1%, self-improvement, setting and achieving goals, success, uncertainty

Alissa Finerman talks with Possibiliteas about the Creative Process

March 30, 2012 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

This interview was featured on the popular site Possibiliteas

Alissa Finerman is the author of Living in Your Top 1%, a book that encourages and helps readers create a personal roadmap to excel in life. Alissa is a life coach and speaker, who traded in a Wall Street career to pursue her passion: helping others bring out their greatness and making “Living in Your Top 1%” a way of life. She has appeared on national radio stations including CBS, Citadel Broadcasting, Clear Channel Radio, and Heartbeat Radio. She is also a regular blogger for PositivelyPositive.com and Virgin.com. Alissa holds an MBA from the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She received her coach certification from New York University. She is also a former professional tennis player, and was ranked #1 in the USTA National Women’s 40 Doubles in 2008, 2009, and 2011.

Define creativity. What does it mean to you? And how has it inspired your career?

For me, creativity is about innovation, thinking differently, creating space, being expansive, and going beyond what’s possible to see things in a new and different light. The amazing part is that creativity will shine its light for each of us in different and beautiful ways. I don’t consider myself an overly creative person but I’m much more creative than I used to be.

Thankfully, the need for creativity influenced me to leave a successful Wall Street career and look beyond my current career path to explore a non-corporate lifestyle. As a result, I left my finance job and moved from NYC to Santa Monica, CA and became a Business/Life Coach, author and speaker. It has inspired me to go after my dreams, take chances (i.e., writing my first book, Living in Your Top 1%) and see what’s possible outside the finance world. Creativity is about tapping into your natural strengths, opening new doors, and letting yourself shine.

How do you navigate the creative process?

Each project is always different but I do practice consistent rituals. For example, when I was writing my book, which is a creative process, I wrote every morning for 4 hours regardless of how I felt. Sometimes the result was only one sentence that I liked and other times I wrote several chapters. For me, I need to create an open space in my mind to let my thoughts flow…to do this, I may go for a run in the early am, go on a hike, take a yoga class, or read. I need to quiet my mind and clear away all the distractions (phone, email, Facebook, etc) and just focus on what I’m doing. You never know what the result is going to be. That part is exciting to me.

When I’m writing an article, I’ll create my draft and then let it sit for a day before I come back and read it again. I like having some time for my ideas to settle, think through something, and gain clarity.

I also train myself to think in terms of the ideal outcome rather than let any obstacles come into my thinking. I like to focus on the “what if” rather than the “why it’s not possible.” This mindset is powerful for me.

Describe the biggest creative obstacle you’ve faced in the past. How did you hurdle it?

Writing my first book and figuring out how to do everything from A to Z. I talked to as many people in various parts of the industry to learn as much as I could about the writing, publishing, and marketing process, best approaches and then ultimately, I had to make the decisions. There are lots of good people out there who are happy to talk to you. Sometimes you have to check your ego and ask for help.

Who is your favorite creative figure? How have they inspired your creativity?

There are so many creative geniuses, it’s hard to pick just one. I admire and gain inspiration from many people including Steve Jobs (for his amazing innovation), Alvin Ailey (amazing dance company), Roger Federer (creative genius on the tennis court), Steven Spielberg (creating some of the best films and sharing the power of story), and Ellen (talented comedian) to share a few.

If you could choose one quote as your life mantra, what would it be?

Two words that I say everyday in my mantra are love and abundance. One of my favorite quotes is,

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Filed Under: Living in Your Top 1% Tagged With: achievement, creativity, inspirational thoughts, setting and achieving goals, success, top 1%er

What Would YOUR Top 1% Do?

March 25, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 2 Comments

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” – Naguib Mahfouz, won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1988

I often hear the question What would love do or What would kindness do? I love these questions because they help to guide us forward with compassion and truth. Let me add one more powerful question to the mix…

What Would YOUR Top 1% Do?

Perhaps this is not a question you are used to asking but why not? It’s all about conditioning our mind to reach our potential. Some people prefer to ask, why did this happen or why did that happen which puts you in a constant state of analyzing rather than moving forward.

Please note, your Top 1% represents potential and opportunity rather than how much money you have, your level of education, your title, or how many homes you own. It’s about being fulfilled, growing, and practicing rituals to share your best self with the world. Each of us can define what our personal Top 1% looks like.

Let’s take a look at three different areas in your life and ask…
What would YOUR Top 1% do?

1. Career: You are in an unfulfilling job
Top 1% Question: What does it cost you on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level to not be engaged or fulfilled in your job?

Top 1%ers see the big picture and have the courage to take steps to change a reality that is not working. It may take time to change a situation but to live in your top 1% you need to take small steps forward and live your truth (ie, call a headhunter, fine-tune your resume, or have informational interviews to learn about a company).

2. Health: You keep talking about getting in shape but do not follow-through
Top 1% Question: Does being inconsistent with your thoughts and actions align with your goals and lead to the results you want?

Top 1%ers practice a high level of consistency and focus on core priorities. In this scenario, it’s essential to understand why working out is important and how it improves your life. If you don’t value health or care about working out, then it may not be the right goal or priority for your right now.

3. Relationships: You have a friend who drains your energy
Top 1% Question: What does your ideal Top 1% team look like and does this friend add to or detract from your team?

People who want to live in their top 1% understand the importance of having people in their life (aka a Top 1% team) who enhance their life rather than drain their energy. You only have so much time and energy so don’t be afraid to honor yourself. As Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: At every step, you have the option to go for good or great. You can condition your mind to quickly align choices, goals and actions by asking better questions. Asking the right questions which help you move forward will help you gain clarity and, ultimately, make better decisions. If you can make better decisions, you can position yourself for success by sharing YOUR Top 1% with the world.

Life is a series of choices. It’s a process, not magic.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Filed Under: Living in Your Top 1% Tagged With: inspirational thoughts, living in your top 1%, motivation, setting and achieving goals, success, top 1%

Living in Your Top 1% Interview Series with Dr. Allison Belger – the Power of Community

March 15, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 2 Comments

The goal of the “Living in Your Top 1%” interview series is to break down the qualities of people who excel and to show that you can be successful and achieve personal greatness from any starting point in your life. The interview series looks at people from all different careers and industries. Some names will be familiar and others may not. The purpose is to understand and borrow from the “best practices” of winners to develop a roadmap to YOUR TOP 1%. We will share a new story each month.

This week’s guest is Allison Belger — psychologist, author, mom, fitness coach, and co-owner of four CrossFit affiliate gyms. I’m excited to share that her first book, The Power of Community, is now available. She highlights why it’s important to build communities in our lives in order to thrive and how a strong community can motivate people to push beyond perceived limits. A former division-one collegiate soccer player and five-time marathoner, she understands community and has embraced it to help herself and others to excel and lead fulfilling lives. She graduated from Dartmouth College, earned her Master’s Degree from Northwestern University, and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California.

I’ve known Allison for more than 30 years and it’s a treat to include her in the Living in Your Top 1% interview series…

“When you have a group of people surrounding you, the landscape is limitless and the possibilities endless.” – Allison Belger

Alissa: What’s the most important strength you possess that allows you to excel in your role?
Allison Belger: I have a great ability to focus on a task at hand and crank out the work that needs to be done, regardless of whatever else is going on in my life. I am an extremely efficient worker – comes with being Type A and preferring to get things off of my plate – instead of having them linger on some unwritten to-do list. I think I possess a good combination of high expectations of others and an ability to motivate them to do their best, while also knowing when to let a softer side come through and allow the needs and desires of others to be heard and met when possible.

AF: What does success mean to you?
AB:
Success means doing something to which you have chosen to apply yourself in a way that makes you feel good about the outcome. You decide what you take on, and you do it well.

AF: What motivates you on a daily basis to keep going?
AB:
My family provides the ultimate motivation to “keep going” in the grand sense of the phrase, but my commitment to myself is what drives me within pursuits I have sought out based on interest and genetic inclination. Pleasing others is not much of a motivation for me, but of course if the end result of my commitment to myself is that I’ve done something others appreciate, then that’s great!

AF: What role do goals play in your life?
AB:
I have to admit, I’ve never been much of a list-maker or specific goal-setter. It may be why I struggle with balance in my life (see balance question below). I have always allowed my goals to evolve organically, and thus the effort put toward those goals flows unformed at times, as well. This works for me, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Some people need, and respond well to, more structure.

AF: Why is community so important?
AB:
We are social animals. We are driven to make connections with other people. We usually perform better in groups. Social support allows us to dig deep and access parts of ourselves that would otherwise remain dormant. In the comfort of friends and supporters, we are freer to take risks, allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and push beyond the limits of our comfort zone, all of which lead to greater outcomes.

AF: How can we create community in our lives?
AB:
Become a volunteer at an organization whose mission jives with your ideals and values. Many non-profits are centered around creating community for populations in need, so there’s the added bonus that while you are becoming part of a community, you are also creating one for others less fortunate.

Go on an outdoor adventure lead by a trusted adventure outfitter. When stripped of the external trappings of everyday life, we learn much about ourselves and experience the critical nature of interpersonal support.

Join some kind of group exercise program. CrossFit is a great one. It is a functional fitness program whose culture is all about community. You’ll experience for yourself why people can do so much more than they ever thought possible, given group support and affiliation.

AF: You now own four CrossFit gyms and have created a powerful community. What are your challenges as a mom, wife, and business owner to keep some form of balance in your life?
AB:
Like so many people who wear multiple hats and have many obligations and passions, I often struggle to keep balance in my life. My success at doing so is variable, to be honest! I’m a pretty obsessive person by nature, which means that I have a hard time letting go of projects and leaving behind my work life when I’m in the role of mom. Working out is one form of release and balance for me, but even that has become complicated, since my workouts have become so intertwined with my work life. I recently started doing some mini-meditation exercises throughout the day, and this seems to be helping with that balance quite a bit.

Ultimately, the most effective way to find balance is to look at my kids and remind myself what they need and how little they care about many of the things by which I can become consumed. If you don’t have kids and cannot make use of this perspective, perhaps think of the child in you needing something from the busy, working adult in you.

AF: What are some of your most meaningful accomplishments?
AB:
Becoming a wife and mother, becoming a psychologist, and having my first book published. I am also incredibly proud of having helped to create our TJ’s Gym community of over one-thousand members whose lives are getting better, one workout at a time, one interpersonal connection at a time.

AF: What do the top performers do differently to excel?
AB:
Top performers care enough to make sacrifices that will allow them to excel. They set realistic but far-reaching goals and know what it takes to achieve them. They surround themselves with people who share their commitment to excellence, and they make meaningful connections with those people as part of their process. They are not afraid to take a few steps backward, working on the foundations despite their public reputation as an expert or top performer. This ability to be vulnerable and to check one’s ego at the door is a huge part of what leads to greatness.

** To learn more about Allison, please visit her website and to learn about her new book, The Power of Community, please click here.

About Alissa
The “Living in Your Top 1%” interview series is presented by Alissa Finerman,
an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Filed Under: Interview Series: Living in YOUR Top 1% Tagged With: community, CrossFit, inspiration for women, setting and achieving goals, success, top 1%

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To contact Alissa about executive coaching, presenting a seminar for your team, leadership consulting or inviting her to speak at an upcoming event/conference, please email: Alissa@FinermanLiving.com

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