Alissa Finerman

Los Angeles Executive Coach and Gallup Certified StrengthsFinder Coach, Speaker and Author

Having a Low Point Is Actually a Good Thing

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This post was featured on Positively Positive

We all have low and high points in our life. These lower moments often define what’s possible depending on your willingness and courage to turn them into a positive or let them simmer as a negative. As we continually work through these temporary dips, we build confidence and pave the road for moments of enjoyment and meaningful accomplishments.

Low points are defined as that moment when the wind is entirely knocked out of you, where, for a brief second, you feel like there is no hope, you are tempted to give up, call it quits, and you are even close to using the word “failure.” The low points can be disheartening, upsetting, painful, embarrassing, frustrating, and entirely deflating. You need a moment to catch your breath. You wonder is this really happening or is it just a dream? Everyone has low points. You are not alone.

Low points could include:

Getting fired

Losing a major client

Losing a loved one

Getting injured or having a health issue

Teaching your first class as a certified yoga teacher and having a student leave early

Reaching your highest or lowest weight ever

Writing a book or movie and receiving bad reviews

Working on a new product for several years only to learn it’s already out

Starting a business and not making a profit

Ending a relationship

Feeling unfulfilled when you accomplish a major goal

Playing in a major athletic competition and having your poorest performance

Going through a divorce

Being overwhelmed by your debt…

These challenges, obstacles, and setbacks vary for each person, and what some may consider to be a “low point,” such as being fired (yes, I’ve survived this one too) or ending a relationship, may not be for someone else. We all deal with adversity differently. There’s no judgment. The real key is how you choose to respond to these potential setbacks and move forward.

The question to consider is what actions will you take to move past your “low point” and get back in the game? How long will you allow yourself to be sidelined?

The one thing that is similar for all low points is they place you at a crossroads in your life. Will you feel sorrow for yourself and decide that you can’t do something or will you rise up and develop Plan B? In this moment of uncertainty and frustration, you have a choice. It takes strength and faith to face these challenges and believe that you can move forward.

Resilient people use a low point to turn things around and make a change. So while one person gets fired from a sales job and decides he or she is not cut out for sales, another person finds a new sales role and this time buys several books and audio training tools to become a more effective salesperson.

Low points can happen in any area of your life. I recently experienced one of these moments in my tennis game. I was playing in the finals of the Doubles Championships at my club in Los Angeles in front of fifty people and serving at 4-3 in the third set. I proceeded to serve the worst game of my tennis career (and I’m not exaggerating), and we went on to lose the match. I was frustrated, deflated, and fed up. Two weeks later, I took action and started working with a tennis coach again, changed my serve technique, and practiced hitting buckets of serves (the serve can represent anything in your life that needs an attitude adjustment to get to your next level). After ten months of doing the work, I experienced a “high point.” While in Turkey this past March representing the USA at the World Championships, I was serving down 4-5 in the third set of the deciding doubles match against Spain, and we held my serve to win the match 7-6!

As you survive and even thrive after a low point that momentarily throws your life upside down, you start to believe in yourself and see new possibilities. Welcome your low points because they can lead to something wonderful in every area of your life.

For every low point, there is a potential breakthrough waiting for you!

I’d love to hear about a recent moment that you turned into a “high point!”

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Dive In

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This post was featured on Positively Positive

Dive in
Jump in
Take a big step
Take a small step
Say hello to fear
Say hello to uncertainty
Say hello to your uncomfortable zone
Say goodbye to thinking too much
Say goodbye to talking without doing
Say goodbye to wishing you could
Because you can!

Perhaps you don’t have enough knowledge, money, time, support, creativity, or belief in yourself. These are all good excuses, but none of these are show stoppers to get started on a great idea, project, or living your truth.

Newsflash: there will always be people who doubt your idea and think it’s silly or even crazy. People thought the Marathon Goddess was crazy to run fifty-two marathons in fifty-two weeks to raise money and awareness for Pancreatic Cancer. They said it was impossible. Well, she’s looking pretty fabulous right now raising close to $200,000 completing her “impossible goal” and being featured on the Today Show and CNN. Congrats for achieving this amazing accomplishment and for reminding all of us that it’s ok to have dreams and go after them, especially the crazy ones!

It doesn’t matter what other people think. It matters what you believe for yourself. This is critical and not to be overlooked, especially in times of uncertainty (which comes up any time you create or make a change). It’s worthwhile noting that the words “diving in” may have a different meaning for each of us. For some, they may mean changing jobs to a new industry, and for others, the words may simply mean putting together your resume. For some, diving in will mean walking one mile, and for others, it will mean running a marathon or fifty-two! The most important part is to get started with a step that resonates with your heart and your truth NOW rather than later.

One truthful and heartfelt small step is better than ten big steps that don’t fulfill you.

What can you “dive into” today to start sharing your authentic self with the world? There’s no reason to wait!

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Uncomfortable is the New Comfortable

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“No matter what happens, it is within my power to turn it to my advantage.”
Epictetus

What if your mindset believed uncomfortable was the new comfortable? Would you make different choices and take different actions in your career, finances, and relationships?

Being in uncharted territory is a simple and often unsettling signal that you are on the right track. This is when opportunities emerge in your life and you move to another level. The playing field shifts, and it’s powerful, scary, and expansive. Welcome these moments!

Uncharted territory in your life is not good or bad, it just is. Yes, it may rattle your foundation, and you may be tempted to pullback, say you can’t do it, or bail completely. But these are exactly the conditions that set you up for massive growth, joy, and new experiences in your life.

This idea relates to my clients in many different ways: the small business owner working to expand his/her business and brand, the manager working through a transition in his/her career, an author-to-be writing her first book, young parents sending their first child to school, or all of us working through a new relationship, whether it’s personal or with a business partner.

Personally, when I look back on some of the “uncomfortable” moments in my life which have turned into “wins,”I was completely in new territory and didn’t know what would happen: leaving my finance job and changing careers (Would I find a career I enjoy? Yes.), moving to California (Would I make friends and build a new community? Yes.), writing my first book (Would I write an inspiring book that helped people? Yes.), or doing my first Half-Ironman (Would I be able to swim 1.2 miles, then bike 56, and run 13.1? Yes.). I continue to work on building a community that inspires me and growing my business. It’s never easy, but it’s always possible when you give yourself a chance and step forward.

The bottom line is if you’re growing and doing something new, you will be in uncharted waters. That’s just how it works. Staying in your comfort zone is always an option, but that gets a bit boring after a while.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

 

Enjoy Better Results

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* Editor’s note: This post appeared on Positively Positive

Are your thoughts fueling the results you want to bring into your life?

Your individual thoughts and beliefs are similar to chapters in a book. When you put them all together, you have the belief system that becomes your story.

You have beliefs about yourself at work, at home, in relationships, and in all others areas of your life. The more you repeat your story, the more you believe it. Therefore, one seemingly insignificant doubt or negative thought can have a major impact on your results—it shifts what you think is possible.

Here’s what the link between your thoughts and results looks like. Your results feed back into your thoughts, so everything is related.
Thoughts —> Beliefs —> Mindset —> Actions —> Results/Reality

What if you replaced each ounce of doubt with possibility and potential?

Replace doubt that you can change careers to being excited about the possibilities.

What if you replaced each ounce of fear with courage and love?

Replace fear of being yourself, speaking the truth, or following your passion to having the courage to create a life you love.

What if you replaced each ounce of anxiety with belief and excitement?

Replace anxiety of what will happen in six months with your relationship to enjoying the moment.

The key is to condition yourself not to give any attention to thoughts that weigh you down and doubt your potential. We start this cycle by bringing greater awareness to the words we use and thoughts that run through our mind. Then we replace negative phrases such as “I’m not a good salesperson” or “I’m not good in relationships” to phrases that offer possibility, such as “This is my first time in sales so I’m going find a mentor and learn as much as possible” or “I am open to revealing my true self and loving and being loved in my relationship.” The process starts with one thought.
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

What if becomes living your best life NOW!

What are the greater possibilities for your life when you shift your thoughts?

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Dealing With Transitions

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* Editor’s Note: This post appeared on Intent.com.

As soon as I change jobs, then I’ll be able to….

When I finish my book, then I’ll be able to focus on….

Once I complete my move, then I’ll be able to…give my all to my relationship, job, or myself.

All of the above conditions exist because you let them. Often, we establish a set of conditions that hold ourself hostage for no reason. This doesn’t need to be the case.

You can still be happy or be in a beautiful relationship if you are going through a challenging financial time, stressful time at work, or moving. I’m know saying it’s easy, but it CAN be done.

Life doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Transitions will exist until we no longer do. So instead of trying to get rid of the transitions or challenging times, learn to live with them and breathe through them. Know that you’ve moved through transitions before and will do it again and again.

What if we convinced ourselves that transitions were exactly what we needed to grow and help us take the next step forward? Think about the “wins” (aka amazing experiences or accomplishments you are proud about) you’ve had in your life – has it been smooth sailing the entire journey? My guess is no.

There’s no need to let a bunch of false conditions hold you hostage and cloud over the amazing potential that exists within you.

Take the time to build a supportive team to help you move through these transitions rather than shutting down. It is possible to shift our mindset and how we see challenges. All events are neutral until we categorize them as positive or negative. The process is not easy and requires effort and making something a priority.

Top 1% Bottom Line: Life is a bunch of transitions rolled together. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that you need to just get through this one transition and then you can be happy, dive into a relationship, or whatever. The transitions add texture to your life and keep it interesting. Lean into each one and take small steps.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook