self-improvement – Alissa Finerman

Change Your Attitude About Goals

January 6, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

This post was featured on Positively Positive.

Is it time to retire the daunting word of goal and substitute a more appealing word that resonates with you such as intention, aim, purpose, or desire?

I believe words are meant to inspire rather than drag us down. Ultimately, the responsibility falls on each one of us to bring positive energy into our life, family, team, and society. Therefore, if the word goal doesn’t motivate you, then change it. Your challenge is to design a “goal” that makes you feel alive, engaged, and inspired. As long as your goal means something special to you, it’s a good one.

A more approachable way to think about goals is to view them as a path that will increase the chances of a desired outcome. Setting a goal or purpose is an effective way to make sure you don’t leave any of your potential on the table. Even a small amount of progress can be the momentum you need to make a change. Chances are, you will be further along than if you did nothing.

Think about what you would love to accomplish this coming year that would bring you more joy and fulfillment?

– Do you want to complete your yoga certification?

– Would you like to carve out time to take photography classes?

– Or perhaps it’s time to finally change jobs and do something that you enjoy.

For some, the word goal is a turn-off because it carries too much pressure in the form of showing results and making yourself accountable. All too often we are judged by our results, when in reality, results are simply a reference point to see if we are creating the life and experiences that make us feel fulfilled. Personally, the word goal is a positive energy word for me because it represents moving toward something that is meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting. This wasn’t always the case when I worked in finance but it is now. I feel incredibly empowered when I move outside my comfort zone to achieve something. This feeling of accomplishment helps me think expansively about what else is possible and gives me hope. For example, writing your first blog may give you the confidence to write the first chapter of your book you’ve been talking about. Setting a meaningful goal/intention can take you from impossible to possible.

Too many people stir up drama when they think about setting a goal. Be honest, you plan vacations and use Google maps to get directions, don’t you? Setting goals or intentions are another way to think about making your vision a reality.

I’ve seen clients achieve incredible results when they go after a goal and put themselves on the line. One client set a breakthrough goal for her company, Anna Beck, to have their jewelry featured on Katie Couric’s new daytime show — it happened on her holiday giveaway show. And yes, sometimes you don’t achieve your complete goal or meet the target date and that’s ok. When I decided to write my first book, Living in YOUR Top 1%, I set a goal to publish it by January 2011. However, we had to make some necessary edits and move the date to February 2011. And you know what? I was disappointed but the project was still successful and has inspired thousands (and hopefully many more). Be flexible and do whatever you need to get in the game!

Top 1% Bottom Line: If the word goal doesn’t float your boat and inspire you to take action, then make a choice and change your words. The key is to turn your ideas into action however you can. Don’t get derailed because a simple word such as goal triggers you. Take charge and find an appealing substitute so you can take a step forward.

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

Seeing Uncomfortable As The New Comfortable

September 5, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 1 Comment

* Editor’s Note: This post was featured on Positively Positive.

What if your mindset believed uncomfortable was the new comfortable? Would you make different choices and take different actions in your career, finances, and relationships?

Being in uncharted territory is a simple and often unsettling signal that you are on the right track. This is when opportunities emerge in your life and you move to another level. The playing field shifts and it’s powerful, scary and expansive. Welcome these moments!

Uncharted territory in your life is not good or bad, it just is. Yes, it may rattle your foundation and you may be tempted to pullback, say you can’t do it, or bail completely. But these are exactly the conditions that set you up for massive growth, joy, and new experiences in your life.

This idea relates to my clients in many different ways: the small business owner working to expand his/her business and brand, the manager working through a transition in his/her career, the single dad looking to generate passive income to support his family, the first time parents sending their child to school, or all of us working through a new relationship whether it be personal or with a business partner.

Personally, when I look back on some of the “uncomfortable” moments in my life which have turned into “wins,” I was completely in new territory and didn’t know what would happen: leaving my finance job and changing careers (would I find a career I love = yes), moving to California (would I make friends and build a new community = yes), writing my first book (would I write an inspiring book = yes :)) or doing my first Half-Ironman (would I be able to swim 1.2 miles then bike 56 and run 13.1 = yes). It’s never easy but it’s always possible when you give yourself a chance and step forward.

The bottom line is if you’re growing and doing something new, you will be in uncharted waters. That’s just how it works. Staying in your comfort zone is always an option but that gets a bit boring after a while.

About Alissa

What’s Your Story

April 11, 2012 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

Does your story EMPOWER you or DIS-EMPOWER you? – Tony Robbins

We all have a story. Sometimes it explains why we can’t do something and other times our story propels us forward. I’ve heard cases where people have the same story such as lack of money, resources, or knowledge and one person eventually starts a successful business while the other is out of work and depressed. One story with completely opposite outcomes.

When you tell your story, you MUST…

Be honest about your story and stick to the facts.
Nothing more nor less!
Create the story that empowers you forward.
Never lower your standards!
Live your truth.
Establish non-negotiables!

We all have stories in different areas of our life. The facts are always available. The only thing that changes is how we interpret them and how much we embellish them.

HEALTH
Facts: You have kids, time is in limited supply, you want to spend time with your kids
Your Story: You can’t get in shape because you have kids and don’t have time.

Truth: You must prioritize exercising because you want to stay healthy and be around to enjoy your children for many years.

CAREER
Facts: Your career is unfulfilling, you would like to be happy in your job
Your Story: You can’t leave your job which is unfulfilling because you will never find another job and you have no other skills.

Truth: You need to move outside your comfort zone to learn new skills and find a job that makes your happy and allows you to share your strengths.

RELATIONSHIPS
Facts: You grew up in a dysfunctional home
Your Story: You can’t have a good relationship because you grew up in a dysfunctional home.

Truth: Surrounding yourself with stable people and creating a positive environment are very important elements because you did not have either when you were growing up.

Often, clients have different stories for different areas of their lives. For example, one amazing and successful client has a can-do mindset in business and athletics. In his career, he believes he can close any deal and handle the most difficult clients. In the area of healthy living/athletics, he has the courage to go after his goals and compete in various triathlon competitions with no limit. However, in his relationships, he has the story that he’s had really bad luck and therefore, he’s not cut out for intimate relationships. Although relationships are challenging for all of us, I challenge his story line.

The one thing I know for sure, as Oprah likes to say, is that sticking to the facts leads to a more powerful story. If you have had relationships or jobs that weren’t fulfilling, then say that. Your story is not permanent. Focus on what you want to bring into your life and why it’s important. Create the story that empowers you forward.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Often you have to challenge your conclusions and ask yourself if they are true. Does it really make sense that you can make anything in your career and fitness happen, yet relationships elude you? How much time do you spend on the areas you are successful in versus the ones you would like to have different results in? Your story must be the truth. This is the only way to create a top 1% path.

About Alissa

Follow-through to Reach YOUR Top 1%

February 7, 2012 By Alissa Finerman 1 Comment

“You don’t kind of let go, you don’t kind of ride waves. You either ride them or you don’t.”
~ LAIRD HAMILTON

I’ve played tennis since I was four years old and competed in college at UC Berkeley, on the Professional Tennis Tour, and, most recently, on the USTA Women’s Doubles 45 Circuit. These experiences have taught me one thing that I know for sure, as Oprah likes to say….

You have to follow-through if you want results on AND off the tennis court.

When you hit a forehand and stop your swing midway, the shot will be subpar. To hit your best forehand, you need to be in position, make contact with the ball, and then follow-through. This is a simple and proven principle for success on the court and applies to life as well.

The question is…

What ideas are you going to follow-through with off the court? You either do or you don’t follow-through. There’s no middle ground!

Having great ideas and doing nothing with them is similar to talking about planning a great vacation with your 80,000 frequent flyer miles and then letting the miles expire. Sounds silly, right?

We all have lots of great ideas — some of my clients want to change jobs, start their own side business, become an entrepreneur, create passive income, or make a difference and start a foundation. Some people are daydreamers and others are dream makers. The key is to make choices that align with your values and goals so that you naturally take action on your ideas.

Creating Top 1% moments is heavily dependent on your FOLLOW-THROUGH!

Winners have great ideas + put them into action.

What priorities will you take action on to “Live in Your Top 1%” and have your best year?

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Think about what it costs you NOT to Follow-through on your ideas?

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
~ NAPOLEON HILL

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About Alissa

Strategies for Success, Part 2

December 28, 2011 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ~ Paulo Coelho

The beginning of each year is when we have the most energy, hope, and determination to create a successful year. Although the choices can be overwhelming, it’s the perfect time to be thinking, crafting, and clarifying what you want to put into action in the New Year.

Some people set New Year’s Resolutions, others set goals, and some do nothing different. The bottom line is you have to do something. Resolutions and goals are a starting point but they only require words. The real progress stems from the ACTIONS you take on a consistent basis.

Yesterday, I shared 4 Strategies For Success and today I’m going to share another 3 STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS. They build on the foundation of 3 questions:

1. What’s important to you?
2. Why is it important?
3. What are you committed to making a priority in your life?

The 3 STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS below focus on the process of Living in Your Top 1% and the leadership you will need to get there:

1. LEVERAGE YOUR WINS:
Whether you are the CEO of a big company or just out of college, you have WINS. A win is an accomplishment that you feel proud about — it can be big or small. Two of my wins include writing my first book, Living in Your Top 1%, and working with three not-for-profits this past year. Other wins could include, leaving a toxic relationship, putting yourself through college, and successfully changing jobs in a difficult economy. The process of acknowledging your wins helps to build confidence, believe in yourself, and think expansively about what’s possible.

The exercise takes less than ten minutes and is one of the most powerful things you can do. At first, you may think you don’t have any wins but once you start writing, the wins will flow. I promise!

2. DEFINE WHAT SUCCESS MEANS TO YOU FOR THIS YEAR:
Success is a commonly used word but one that people don’t take the time to define. It will be difficult to know what you want to achieve if you are not clear on your definition of success. Is it about building loving relationships, making a certain amount of money, buying a house, being promoted, volunteering, or spending quality time with your children?

Your definition will be dynamic (meaning it changes over time) and specific to your values and what’s important to you. Take a few minutes and clarify what a successful year looks like and then set goals to make that happen.

3. COMMIT TO BEING THE CEO OF YOU INC:
Regardless of whether you actually run a company or not, you have to accept the role of CEO of yourself. YOU are your most important asset which means you need to fuel yourself and show up with your best self for your friends, your family, your co-workers, and your life.

Being the CEO of YOU INC. means you make yourself a priority, take responsibility for your actions, and make choices that align with your goals. It’s time to take a leadership role in YOUR life. No one can do this part for you. You need to get in the game and step up to the plate.

Top 1% Bottom Line: Living in Your Top 1% is a continuous journey rather than a race with a start and finish. You celebrate wins along the way and always seek out ways to improve, expand your thinking, and take on new challenges. The exciting part is that your Top 1% level is dynamic and constantly evolving. The quest starts by asking, “Am I living up to my greatest potential?” Now show yourself what you can do! Feel free to share your best strategies for success in the comments section.

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About Alissa

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