goals – Page 2 – Alissa Finerman

Having a Low Point Is Actually a Good Thing

June 6, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

This post was featured on Positively Positive

We all have low and high points in our life. These lower moments often define what’s possible depending on your willingness and courage to turn them into a positive or let them simmer as a negative. As we continually work through these temporary dips, we build confidence and pave the road for moments of enjoyment and meaningful accomplishments.

Low points are defined as that moment when the wind is entirely knocked out of you, where, for a brief second, you feel like there is no hope, you are tempted to give up, call it quits, and you are even close to using the word “failure.” The low points can be disheartening, upsetting, painful, embarrassing, frustrating, and entirely deflating. You need a moment to catch your breath. You wonder is this really happening or is it just a dream? Everyone has low points. You are not alone.

Low points could include:

Getting fired

Losing a major client

Losing a loved one

Getting injured or having a health issue

Teaching your first class as a certified yoga teacher and having a student leave early

Reaching your highest or lowest weight ever

Writing a book or movie and receiving bad reviews

Working on a new product for several years only to learn it’s already out

Starting a business and not making a profit

Ending a relationship

Feeling unfulfilled when you accomplish a major goal

Playing in a major athletic competition and having your poorest performance

Going through a divorce

Being overwhelmed by your debt…

These challenges, obstacles, and setbacks vary for each person, and what some may consider to be a “low point,” such as being fired (yes, I’ve survived this one too) or ending a relationship, may not be for someone else. We all deal with adversity differently. There’s no judgment. The real key is how you choose to respond to these potential setbacks and move forward.

The question to consider is what actions will you take to move past your “low point” and get back in the game? How long will you allow yourself to be sidelined?

The one thing that is similar for all low points is they place you at a crossroads in your life. Will you feel sorrow for yourself and decide that you can’t do something or will you rise up and develop Plan B? In this moment of uncertainty and frustration, you have a choice. It takes strength and faith to face these challenges and believe that you can move forward.

Resilient people use a low point to turn things around and make a change. So while one person gets fired from a sales job and decides he or she is not cut out for sales, another person finds a new sales role and this time buys several books and audio training tools to become a more effective salesperson.

Low points can happen in any area of your life. I recently experienced one of these moments in my tennis game. I was playing in the finals of the Doubles Championships at my club in Los Angeles in front of fifty people and serving at 4-3 in the third set. I proceeded to serve the worst game of my tennis career (and I’m not exaggerating), and we went on to lose the match. I was frustrated, deflated, and fed up. Two weeks later, I took action and started working with a tennis coach again, changed my serve technique, and practiced hitting buckets of serves (the serve can represent anything in your life that needs an attitude adjustment to get to your next level). After ten months of doing the work, I experienced a “high point.” While in Turkey this past March representing the USA at the World Championships, I was serving down 4-5 in the third set of the deciding doubles match against Spain, and we held my serve to win the match 7-6!

As you survive and even thrive after a low point that momentarily throws your life upside down, you start to believe in yourself and see new possibilities. Welcome your low points because they can lead to something wonderful in every area of your life.

For every low point, there is a potential breakthrough waiting for you!

I’d love to hear about a recent moment that you turned into a “high point!”

About Alissa

Alissa Finerman is an Executive Coach and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, speaker and author of Living in YOUR Top 1%. She works with managers, C-suite executives and teams to leverage strengths, shift beliefs and achieve meaningful goals. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. She has worked with Ross Stores, Petco, BNP Paribas, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, Brookfield Property Partners, Neutrogena, Bristol-Myers Squibb and Dress for Success. To learn more about coaching with Alissa, please visit her website and follow her on Facebook

What’s Your Bottom Line?

June 6, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

This post was featured on the Wharton Magazine Blog.

When we think of the phrase “the bottom line,” we often think of profits and money. But there’s much more to the bottom line than dollar signs. The bottom line you lead with will make a huge impact in your life.

Sometimes our bottom line is to get what we want in an argument instead of figuring out a solution to enhance the relationship. Other times, our bottom line is to get the job done, but in the process we can alienate people in the workplace instead of looking at the situation from all perspectives to gain support. Or the bottom line can be to make work or health our priority, but in the process we completely neglect the loved ones in our life. The bottom line can also include knowledge, experience, inspiration and fun.

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Whether you’re a CEO, manager, mom, college student, friend, lover, athlete or entrepreneur, it’s important to be clear on your bottom line and how it impacts others. What’s fueling your decisions? Is it the drive to create, connect, listen and make the world better? Teach your children, honor your values or feel loved? Get a larger share of the marketplace, serve your customer and create a better product?

Consider these questions in the different areas of your life:

What’s the bottom line for your family?

What’s the bottom line in your relationships?

What’s the bottom line in your business?

What’s the bottom line with your customers?

What’s the bottom line with your team at work?

What’s the bottom line with your personal health?

What impact does your bottom line in each of these areas have on others? What changes if any need to be made?

When we steer away from an authentic and collaborative bottom line, the results shift dramatically, often not for the best. Often, we don’t consider our bottom line until it’s too late and then we wonder why the situation veered off course.

Now, consider the most challenging situation in an important area of your life—career, relationships, finance or health. What’s your bottom line and how is it affecting that issue?

About Alissa

7 Strategies For Success When Setting Goals

January 6, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

I firmly believe that everyone wants to live his or her best life. The question is what does “best” mean and how do you do it. Oprah made the phrase living your best life popular but what’s the first step in the process?

It’s important to realize there is a process and setting goals is just one part of this process. Meaning, if you set the “perfect” goal but then have a negative mindset or get derailed at the first small obstacle, achieving your goal will be tricky. It’s not what we know but rather what we practice. We all need a toolkit or set of rituals. In my book, Living in Your Top 1%, I share nine rituals for success. This blog focuses on Ritual Four: Go For The Goal.

One note before we jump in:

Don’t worry if your goal seems crazy to others, just get them out on paper and take a small step. The process of writing your goals is very empowering and helps to generate great ideas. Often, the crazy ideas are the ones that change the world.

HERE ARE 7 STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS

1. Start with the Ideal Situation

This is your chance to dream. Imagine you have a blank slate, and you can be and do whatever you choose. No obstacles just pure potential. Start with this image of possibilities and then work backwards to see what’s doable right now. Don’t focus on the obstacles when you are getting started. Yes, I am encouraging you to leave the mortgage, kids, and other responsibilities alone for right now. Think about what the ideal vision is for you. Then figure out what you need to do to make it happen.

2. Write Down Your Goals

When you write down your goals, you start to see where you want to go and it’s easier to make decisions because you have a destination. Many people like to keep everything in their mind instead of put it down on paper. Well let me tell you a little secret about these folks, they are also the people who are more likely not to follow through on their goals. Clarity can emerge from writing your dreams on paper.

3. Determine Why the Goal is Important?

Be very clear why you are setting this goal. Is it because your family wants you to do something or does the goal matter to you? Please leave the “should” goals behind.

Is losing weight really important to you? Are you willing to make other sacrifices to make this goal a reality? Or does work really take priority over relationships? Often, we have to make difficult choices when setting goals. Yes, that’s part of the process as well. When goals are important to you, they will align with your values (ie, adventure, respect, honesty, connecting, humor etc).

The question is will you feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment when you achieve the goal? If not, it’s not the right goal. For example, you may have a great goal to be the market leader in your business. But if you really want to be connected to your daughter and coach her soccer team then achieving your business goal may or may not leave you feeling fulfilled. These are the questions you need to consider. Yes, they are tough!

4. Craft Clear-Cut Goals That Add Meaning to Your Life
Many of us think vague goals are our friends but actually they just derail us in our mission. If you’re planning to get better at golf, be a better leader, or exercise more in the new year, you will need to be much more specific. Say your goal out loud and honestly ask yourself if it’s clear what you are trying to do. Once you have a clear goal, you need to double check that it’s something you really care about (rather than your family, friends, or partner).

Many goals appear specific but they are not. Examples of common vague goals:

1. Get in shape = does this mean lower your blood pressure, have consistent energy throughout the day, lose 15 pounds by your college reunion, or run your first 5k race?
2. Build my business = do you mean open a second store, be featured in Success Magazine, increase revenue by 20%, or get five new clients?
3. Spend more time with friends = do you mean have dinner once a week or schedule a four-day ski trip?

Things happen when you are specific. Vague goals = vague results!

5. Pursue a Goal that is a Tier One Priority

You probably have many things that are important in your life. Write down all of your goals above and then check the three goals that are most important to you (this keeps the process manageable). Your tier one goals are the ones that will make the biggest impact in your life. They are not necessarily the goals that help you make the most money or make you famous but rather the goals that add a deeper sense of fulfillment to your life. Tier One goals can be big or small. Perhaps you want to finish your degree, be debt-free, or change jobs by the end of this year. Whatever is meaningful to YOU is best to pursue.

6. Set a Target Date: This is a tough one but it needs to be done. Just saying that you are going to write a book or lose weight is not really saying anything. Does that mean you are going to write a book in the next five years or lose weight sometime in your lifetime. If you just started working at a new company, it’s probably not realistic to say that you will be promoted tomorrow but it might be reasonable to set a goal to be promoted within six months or the year. You will have to decide what’s possible given everything else going on in your life. Either way, it’s helpful to have a date that you are working toward. Please know, it’s OK to revise the target date as you move forward with your goal. The process is dynamic.

7. Take Small Steps
Slow and steady is a great strategy. Once you have a goal that speaks to you, break it down into small steps. If you want to start a business, perhaps the small step is registering a domain name or ordering business cards. Move away from extreme all or nothing strategies. Too many people think the goal setting process is over once you declare your goal — that’s when the fun starts. Train your mind to take one small step a day and you will make amazing progress. It’s a process; it’s not magic.

TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: One of the best ways to make a difference in your life and our society is to embrace the practice of clarifying your goals/intentions/vision. Goals serve as a road map or GPS to the next stop on your journey. And there will be many stops on your journey.You will find it most helpful to continue to fine-tune your process each year (think Kaizen = continuous improvement). Now is the time to Live in YOUR Top 1%.

About Alissa

How To Get In The Game For The New Year

January 6, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

* This post was featured on Intent.com.

Happy New Year!

Here’s to a wonderful year filled with love, abundance and many more top 1% moments for all!

You’re motivated…

You’re excited…

You’re ready to have a great 2013!

Now what? How do you get there? What would a “great” year mean to you?

For those who are open to investing in themselves and doing the work, here’s an empowering and helpful exercise to get you started. This is when you want to think big rather than settle. If you settle when you dream, you will settle in your life. Have the courage to believe in yourself!

A few key things to know before you jump in:

– Any starting place is a good one (whether you had the best year or the most challenging one, just start)

– Leave the shoulds behind. Forget about what society and your friends think you should do with your life and pursue only what speaks to you on an authentic and heart based level

– It’s not a competition. You are striving for YOUR personal Top 1% (and this will mean something different to every mom, CEO, entrepreneur, professional athlete, and college student).

– Align your goals with your values to stay motivated. Your motivation will ebb and flow on your journey, that’s perfectly normal. You have the greatest chance of success when you connect your goals and values.

– Realize that “success” is a process. Oprah, Richard Branson, and Roger Federer didn’t start at the top, they worked very hard and built a team to be where they are today. Starbucks started with one store and now they have over 15,000 locations. Enjoy the process.

– And most importantly, leave the negative self-talk behind. Yes, we all have it, but your work is in minimizing the interference factor so you can let your potential walk through the door.

Give yourself 15 minutes to write out the questions below.

1. Define success? What will a successful year mean to you? Is it about connecting with people, inspiring people, making a certain amount of money, reading to your kids every night, changing jobs to do what you enjoy, or believing in yourself?

2.Write down three or more wins for 2012 that you felt good about accomplishing (ex: writing your first blog, taking a photography class and showing your work, launching a new product, completing a half-marathon, buying your first home)

3. Write down 3 core values (ex: respect, learning, honesty, adventure)

4. Write down three of your strengths (ex: positive outlook, determined, humor)

5. Write down three areas of your life/business that you would like to improve or focus on (ex, health, career, finances, relationships, fun/creativity, personal growth, marketing, business development)

6. Write down at least two goals in each area, be as specific as you can, when will you complete the goal, does it speak to your heart, why is it important?

7. Put a star next to the three goals that truly speak to your heart

8. Focus on one goal at a time and write down three small steps you can take today/this week to start the process rolling (perhaps it’s signing up for a class, calling someone to get more information, registering a domain name etc.)

9. Repeat the process for each area of your life/business with each goal

These are essential exercises to get your creative juices flowing and open to new possibilities. Please share your thoughts or one of your goals in the comments section. It’s empowering to share!

Here’s to a “top 1%” 2013. Wishing you all the best, Alissa

For those who want to dive in deeper with one to one coaching, email top1@alissafinerman.com.

About Alissa

Change Your Attitude About Goals

January 6, 2013 By Alissa Finerman Leave a Comment

This post was featured on Positively Positive.

Is it time to retire the daunting word of goal and substitute a more appealing word that resonates with you such as intention, aim, purpose, or desire?

I believe words are meant to inspire rather than drag us down. Ultimately, the responsibility falls on each one of us to bring positive energy into our life, family, team, and society. Therefore, if the word goal doesn’t motivate you, then change it. Your challenge is to design a “goal” that makes you feel alive, engaged, and inspired. As long as your goal means something special to you, it’s a good one.

A more approachable way to think about goals is to view them as a path that will increase the chances of a desired outcome. Setting a goal or purpose is an effective way to make sure you don’t leave any of your potential on the table. Even a small amount of progress can be the momentum you need to make a change. Chances are, you will be further along than if you did nothing.

Think about what you would love to accomplish this coming year that would bring you more joy and fulfillment?

– Do you want to complete your yoga certification?

– Would you like to carve out time to take photography classes?

– Or perhaps it’s time to finally change jobs and do something that you enjoy.

For some, the word goal is a turn-off because it carries too much pressure in the form of showing results and making yourself accountable. All too often we are judged by our results, when in reality, results are simply a reference point to see if we are creating the life and experiences that make us feel fulfilled. Personally, the word goal is a positive energy word for me because it represents moving toward something that is meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting. This wasn’t always the case when I worked in finance but it is now. I feel incredibly empowered when I move outside my comfort zone to achieve something. This feeling of accomplishment helps me think expansively about what else is possible and gives me hope. For example, writing your first blog may give you the confidence to write the first chapter of your book you’ve been talking about. Setting a meaningful goal/intention can take you from impossible to possible.

Too many people stir up drama when they think about setting a goal. Be honest, you plan vacations and use Google maps to get directions, don’t you? Setting goals or intentions are another way to think about making your vision a reality.

I’ve seen clients achieve incredible results when they go after a goal and put themselves on the line. One client set a breakthrough goal for her company, Anna Beck, to have their jewelry featured on Katie Couric’s new daytime show — it happened on her holiday giveaway show. And yes, sometimes you don’t achieve your complete goal or meet the target date and that’s ok. When I decided to write my first book, Living in YOUR Top 1%, I set a goal to publish it by January 2011. However, we had to make some necessary edits and move the date to February 2011. And you know what? I was disappointed but the project was still successful and has inspired thousands (and hopefully many more). Be flexible and do whatever you need to get in the game!

Top 1% Bottom Line: If the word goal doesn’t float your boat and inspire you to take action, then make a choice and change your words. The key is to turn your ideas into action however you can. Don’t get derailed because a simple word such as goal triggers you. Take charge and find an appealing substitute so you can take a step forward.

About Alissa

The question to consider is what actions will you take to move past your “low point” and get back in the game? How long will you allow yourself to be sidelined?

As you survive and even thrive after a low point that momentarily throws your life upside down, you start to believe in yourself and see new possibilities. Welcome your low points because they can lead to something wonderful in every area of your life.

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